This is so unfair! I was just expelled for plagiarism...

I got in trouble for something I didn’t do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loamawayfromloam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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What do they call an unfair advantage that the undead have?

Wight privilege.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trash_can_not
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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When his son kept complaining that his bedtime was unfair, where did the sommelier send him to timeout?

The whine cellar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidjayhawk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
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My friend invited us over to play poker on Thanksgiving since all his kids were home…

Which seemed a little unfair … he would start every hand with a full house

(This was literally our text exchange this morning)

Edit: grammar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/o2fill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2021
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Left handed people are so unfairly marginalised

They don't have any rights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonsarethekey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...

That took a lot of balls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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So I just found out some politicians with bowel problems are unfairly helping other politicians with bowel problems rise to power.

I guess our government has a problem with crohnyism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caligari87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Son: I went to a funfair that rigged all the games

Dad: Sound like you went to a.. unfair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
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What happened to the Frito-Lay employee whose coworker got unfairly promoted?

He ended up getting a chip on his shoulder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days...

The rest are just weak days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Why don't birds go to church?

Mostly because they shit everywhere...but also because of their their fowl language.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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You have to admit, Apple is being treated unfairly after the recent news about the iPhone 6+...

They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.

You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeMaijstral
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed

I told her it's unfair to make a judgment in less than a minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuitenantElo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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Yesterday I celebrated my thirty second birthday.

It just seems a little unfair that I only get half of a minute when everyone else gets the whole day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killerbuttonfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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A video game addict was playing a military game

He quickly achieved the rank of β€œtreem ”, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamer’s family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.

This weeks top headline read, β€œex-treem dissed appointment”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamayurt
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Something I came up with being unemployed during COVID...

Me to friend: "Hey is your washing machine working?"

Friend: "Yeah"

Me: "Darn, this economy is so unfair that your washing machine can work but I can't"

Friend: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanat361
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JButler22093
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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My nephew’s school is having a fundraiser.

They are selling salsa and he sent me the flyer.

https://i.imgur.com/TRmu8ry.jpg

I replied that I think it’s very unfair and he’s going to get sick eating that much salsa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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Little sister asked my dad for a horse when she was younger. She wasn't amused with the reply

Sister: "Hey Dad, can I please have a horse for my birthday?"

Dad: "Sorry honey, don't have anywhere to put it."

Sister: Starts Crying "This is unfair, I never get what I want."

Dad: "C'mon now sweetheart, why the long-face?"

Sister: "STOP DAD! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

Dad: "Ok..ok..we'll get one. I'll go see if we can store it at the Neiigghhghbors house"

Dad proceeds to burst out laughing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcactuswes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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If a boat is on trial for crashing into a dock...

...does it get a jury of its piers? Because that seems a little unfair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kleinyman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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My girlfriend and I were at the hospital.

She's still not speaking to me after this one.

My girlfriend got hit in the head at work today and had been dizzy and nauseous for several hours afterward. We went to the hospital, and they recommended that she use a wheelchair due to her dizziness.

We were waiting in the hospital to find out the scan result and she jokingly threatened to fight me over something I said. I told her it wouldn't be a fair fight, because she would have the advantage. I told her she had an unfair handicap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iBrave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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