I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee...

But they don't really need the support

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I'm not a Chef but boyardees titties sweaty today.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Hello Titty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamrahil
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Titties
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neel_o2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Some women are part of itty bitty titty committee

But some man are stuck in bare-skin hair-thin chin commission

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πŸ‘€︎ u/konstantinua00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Trashy people go to titty bars...

Classy people go to Breastaurants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackysackjones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fastinternetguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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Titties

So my girlfriend likes to talk in a baby voice sometimes. I don't mind it and find it fairly cute. Well she's been wanting to go get a kitten and every time she mentions is she says it as "can we go look at titties today?" Instead of kitties. Well I woke her up and in her half asleep voice she asks me

"Can we go look at titties today?"

I say "sure, we'll go to the shelter later."

And she responds "Hooters or twin peaks?"

It took me a minute but she definitely got me on this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draked1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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Why is it called a wonder bra?

Because when you take it off you wonder where the titties went.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayboy10600
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What did the big boob say to the small boob?

It is what titties.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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You can easily know ant’s gender by putting them on the water

If it sinks, girl ant, if it floats, buoyant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterMakerXD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What do you call it when Victoria Secret merges with Smith and Wesson?

Titty Titty Bang Bang

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoshizaki78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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My wife was complaining about how I overcooked the last chicken breast we had

Tough titties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_1337_Canadian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I keep asking people what LGBTQ stands for

Bur I never get a straight answer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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What's worse than a hurricane?

TITTY TWISTER

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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What did baby Dracula say to his mommy?

I vant to suck your titties

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayMar123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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How is milk in boobs measured?

Quan-titties?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarc_avenger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Look down your shirt and spell attic...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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For five years, I've been drawing visual pun puzzles and putting them up on Mondays. They're kinda hard but really fun to solve. Here are a few. imgur.com/a/4s6Qf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmailbox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
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Boat names

Keeping up a-pier-ances

The Sturgeon-General

A fine piece of bass

All I really want is gulls

About a bouy

Gulls don't like bouys, gulls like cars and money

Bass and titties

Little ado a-trout nothing

Please keel free to add your own :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrToastNBake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Look I drew blood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_guy_Peebles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2017
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Girlfriend just got me with this one a few minutes ago.

Girlfriend and I are laying in bed, watching a movie. I'm not into the movie, so, in an attempt to get me to watch it, she said, "You can play with my boobs if you watch the movie." So, naturally, I put my hand down her shirt and start having fun.

"I said you could play with my boobs, not my nipples."

"Your nipples are a part of your boobs."

"My nipples are a whole other enTITTY."

She's gonna make a great dad someday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xredyrx7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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Told by a homeless man in Denver.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebraskent
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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I'm not a Chef

But Boyardees titties sweaty today...

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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I keep asking what LGBT stands for

But I never get a straight answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBones90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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