But they don't really need the support
But some man are stuck in bare-skin hair-thin chin commission
Classy people go to Breastaurants.
So my girlfriend likes to talk in a baby voice sometimes. I don't mind it and find it fairly cute. Well she's been wanting to go get a kitten and every time she mentions is she says it as "can we go look at titties today?" Instead of kitties. Well I woke her up and in her half asleep voice she asks me
"Can we go look at titties today?"
I say "sure, we'll go to the shelter later."
And she responds "Hooters or twin peaks?"
It took me a minute but she definitely got me on this one.
Because when you take it off you wonder where the titties went.
It is what titties.
If it sinks, girl ant, if it floats, buoyant.
Titty Titty Bang Bang
Tough titties.
Bur I never get a straight answer
TITTY TWISTER
I vant to suck your titties
If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?
I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?
China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.
I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?
I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.
I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.
I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"
I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".
If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?
If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?
My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.
I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.
Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.
Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.
You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"
A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p
... keep reading on reddit ➡Keeping up a-pier-ances
The Sturgeon-General
A fine piece of bass
All I really want is gulls
About a bouy
Gulls don't like bouys, gulls like cars and money
Bass and titties
Little ado a-trout nothing
Please keel free to add your own :)
Girlfriend and I are laying in bed, watching a movie. I'm not into the movie, so, in an attempt to get me to watch it, she said, "You can play with my boobs if you watch the movie." So, naturally, I put my hand down her shirt and start having fun.
"I said you could play with my boobs, not my nipples."
"Your nipples are a part of your boobs."
"My nipples are a whole other enTITTY."
She's gonna make a great dad someday.
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out, man
But Boyardees titties sweaty today...
But I never get a straight answer.
