When Captain Hook was running away from the ticking alligator..
It must have been very time consuming!
What did the German commander say to the ticking clock?
Ve haf vays and means of making you tock.
Stove was ticking...
Me: What is that DAMN ticking noise?!?
Dad: Ha ha... that ticking you off? HAHAHAHA
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
How do you avoid getting ticked?
Why does The Tick hate the Matrix movies?
Man walks into a shop and picks up a can of bug spray
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying "tick tick tick"?
Do these clock hands tick? 🤔
What did the tick say to the clock?
What are you tocking about?
Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook...
Is an insect that comes from the moon....
Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.
Sorry. I just gotta vent.
I really hope this whole COVID-19 thing gets cleared up before tick season
Because then we’d have corona with Lyme
I'm so happy its tick season soon...
I enjoy a little Lyme with my Corona
I thought I might have a parasite so I sprayed my self with a cheap bug bomb.
Now all I have to show for it is a nervous tick.
I was having trouble playing a song on guitar and my teacher said "practice to a tick"
It didn't work at all and now I have Lyme disease
My little brother keeps annoying me with this ant and ticks he found...
I am really getting tired of his ant ticks
I fell in love with the tick that bit me when I was on a trip to Rome
It was a Romantic gesture
I was going to take a hike in the woods today but realized tick season is starting
and I like my Corona without Lyme.
What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?
A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.
I heard the ticks are really bad this year. If you go outside, be careful...
Unless you like your Corona with Lyme.
I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.
It was an egg ganache tick
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
What do you call an argument between two ticks?
My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...
When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather
"vee haf vays of making you tock!"
What do you call a tick that lives on the moon?
What’s a ticks favorite fruit?
Don’t annoy clocks
Or they’ll get ticked off.
You know what rally ticks me off?
Really ticked me off! Barging in like that uninvited. So gave it my best shot.
Have you ever tried eating a clock?
It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
Why did the ticks lead a revolution?
because the had the blood of the proletariat inside them.
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They are both Paris sites
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
What did the tick say to the clock
what are you tocking about
Hopefully this whole Corona virus thing doesnt last until tick season.
If it does, we will have Corona with Lyme.
What do you call a tick on the moon?
My annoying little brother asks me which bug grosses me out this ants or those ticks...
I replied I am really getting tired of your ant ticks.
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