The Germans really liked my drei humor, the Spanish hated it and said it was more than their usual dos, while the French said it just wasn’t un neuf.
Nine.
"Battery case contains assault".
“Coffee is ready.”
Yes, yes they do
The Englishman pushes his drink back and asks for a new one, the Irishman just takes the fly out and flicks it over his shoulder, resuming to drink his drink, meanwhile the Scotsman was tapping the back of the fly, screaming “SPIT IT OUT YA WEE BASTARD”
Solid, liquid, and gas
(Sorry)
Engine ears!
They're my watch dogs.
"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw"
Joke joke joke joooooooooke
A Car.
A wonkey!
And I've heard nothing since.
Speling and counting.
There was a sign in the window: Artichokes 3 for $10.
Mole 3: It smells like mole-asses to me.
Because it can't get past c.
Those who can count and those who can't
A Dodecabeedron.
The first one says “I smell sugar.” The second one says “I smell cinnamon.” The third says “I smell molasses.”
Poof!
He disappeared without a tres.
Where’s your other half?
And now he’s taking chemo
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Lazy.
The fourth one ducks
He said he was "Polyjamorous."
and not using commas.
We got em!!!!!!
When I looked back, u/AndreT_NY Jr was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “u/AndreT_NY Jr, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
My Mom corrected him and said he had five children
to which my dad replied, Yes, I know!!!
Joe Bident
Little Debby, Betty Crocker, and Swiss Miss!!!
The Nyuk-atan peninsula!
They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
“Toast and meow-malade!”
Nine.
I haven’t heard anything since.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
His left ear, his right ear, and the final front-ear.
