22 Hilarious The Beard Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why doesn't Frosty the Snowman have a beard?

Because he's made from shaved ice!

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👤︎ u/pacos-ego

📅︎ May 26 2021

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I walked in the shop, glimpsing my beard covered in snow as I entered

"You're a few weeks late aren't you Santa?" the girl behind the counter joked, smiling.

"Ho, ho, ho!" I fired back at her, in an uncharacteristic misogynistic outburst.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/PhatPhlaps

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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Rhett is not the same man without his beard

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/TheLegendTwendyone

📅︎ Mar 05 2020

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I vowed not to shave during the COVID-19 quarantine. My wife doesn't like my beard.

But it's really growing on me.

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/bigpaulycolini

📅︎ Apr 27 2020

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My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...

I guess he’s just trying to shave face…

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Mar 12 2020

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In my company, you have to agree to not shaving beard in the contract

It's called the Santa Clause

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👤︎ u/Pacson_So_Funny

📅︎ Feb 27 2020

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The other day I ran into someone who was shocked that I had grown a beard

To which I said, “I grew it over winter, but I’m thinking of shaving it off. Only it’s been growing on me”

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👤︎ u/Das-DoktahJay

📅︎ Feb 28 2020

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I always wanted my dad to grow a beard and would try to get him to not shave in the mornings. As he began shaving, he would always promise me that he’d start growing a beard ‘tomorrow’, but he never did.

He was a bald faced liar.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/CapnFancyPants

📅︎ Sep 04 2019

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I went out with on a date with a girl I haven't seen in a few weeks and since then I have started growing a beard. When I saw her she said the beard was new—

I said yeah I wasn't crazy about it at first either, but it grew on me.

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/tyl93

📅︎ Jan 23 2016

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All the dads who are just trying out a new beard and think they don't look good with it, do not worry

It will grow on you.

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👤︎ u/doktorstrange7

📅︎ Sep 24 2019

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At first, I didn't like the idea of having a beard.

Then it grew on me.

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👤︎ u/electric_leper

📅︎ Jul 07 2019

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I never really liked the idea of having a beard...

But it grew on me.

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👤︎ u/Musicguy1982

📅︎ Jan 10 2018

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I’ve never really liked the beard look

But it’s starting to grow on me

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👤︎ u/FirstSineOfMadness

📅︎ Dec 17 2018

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Somebody made the mistake of complementing my dad's beard today...

He replied with: thanks, I grew it myself.

He got a high five for that.

👍︎ 180

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👤︎ u/HughJerectDick

📅︎ Apr 28 2015

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When is the best time to get rid of a beard?

Daylight SHAVINGS time!

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👤︎ u/ALKRA-47

📅︎ Mar 10 2018

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Half-way through No Shave November, my wife told me she actually likes the way I look with a beard.

I told her, "Yeah, it's been growing on me."

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👤︎ u/Bluedit5

📅︎ Nov 15 2017

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My best friend is growing a beard and isn't having the best luck

Me: You know what's similar between you and an old Native American man?

My friend: What?

Me: Apache beard.

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👤︎ u/J0h4n50n

📅︎ Nov 21 2014

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Why did the man have a full beard on his wedding day?

He didn't believe in shaving himself for marriage.

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👤︎ u/dontshoottheduc

📅︎ Sep 13 2016

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My daughter asked why I shaved off my beard. "Mama does like it," I said then explained, "It rubbed her the wrong way."

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👤︎ u/Cruzinspeed

📅︎ Jan 29 2016

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Why did the waitress trim the man's beard at the end of his meal?

He asked for a "to-go tea."

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👤︎ u/Quixel

📅︎ Sep 24 2015

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The idea of having a beard just grew on me.

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👤︎ u/Ricedome

📅︎ Jul 22 2015

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Why did the Native American shave his beard?

Because it was Apache

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👤︎ u/calmerthanudude

📅︎ Dec 03 2014

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