Temperature measurement Puns

A list of puns related to "Temperature measurement"

As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.

Does anyone know how I can get it back?

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👤︎ u/Calthropstu
📅︎ Oct 31 2020
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I find it so sad that the US uses another unit other than °C or K for measuring temperature.

F.

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👤︎ u/rocker230
📅︎ May 25 2020
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Two scientists are trying to come up with a way to measure temperature.

One shows the other a prototype thermometer.

"We haven't figured out what to call it yet, but I need you to tell me what temperature this room is when i turn off the air conditioner so it cools to room temperature."

The other scientist gives him the OK and he walks out of the room to turn off the heater.

"OK, what temperature is it?"

"There's no marks on it!" The other scientist replied.

"Well, tell me the height of the mercury on the inside, relative to length of the bottle!"

"Alright" The scientist says. "In that case, it's fair in height"

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👤︎ u/bigboyschoolaccount
📅︎ May 08 2020
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How do big lads measure temperature?

Kelvin.

Because they’re ABSOLUTE UNITS

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👤︎ u/teuast
📅︎ May 23 2018
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How do you measure the temperature of a female cannibal who ate her mother?

Her mom eater.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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The corner imgur.com/kQGZ0vq
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/shady_alley_groper
📅︎ Sep 17 2013
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Dadjoked by my friend.

Was driving to get food and it felt chilly so I asked my friend what the temperature was. He responded with "a measurement of how hot or cold it is."

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👤︎ u/dabakos
📅︎ Oct 20 2014
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