They looked at the reviews... only 1 star
You gotta planet
... the sun would be the star of the show.
He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!
It was in a really crappy mood.
It was from ancient Greece
There would be mass confusion
The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
It uses an asteroid belt
Paypal
A centipede. I’m a dad, can confirm
It's full of $hit.
I'd give it one star.
Because of their Auntie-bodies
It’s a Pierre to Pierre network.
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
Some people just want to watch the World Barn.
An Optical Aleutian
I’ll see myself out...
It’s due to my weekend immune system
Unix.
(Eunuchs.)
- They'd sell Mac
The police are now charging me for a 'Heat and Run' incident.
He'll install windows
Tech Support: “It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”
Me: “So?”
They just ransomware.
It is difficult to calculate 20% in Imperial System
>!This is a play on the word "tipping", which means....(A)Pushing a cow over.............(B)Tipping a generous amount of 20% after dinner!<
You get them VERY ANGRY
They employ a system of Czechs and balances.
Feather All Reserve
Me: It must be my weekend immune system.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,570 matches
Then a belt that has a diagram of the solar system must be a waist of space.
Dude 2: “Brochure”
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star
There would be mass confusion
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
