Jokes about sugar are rare...
Jokes about brown sugar: demerara
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Ever seen a donkey that fell into a pit of sugar?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Got me a sugar daddy
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︎ Jun 26 2020
"excuse me, is this sugar free?"
Cashier: No. You have to pay for it.
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What do you call sugar-free breath mints from California?
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︎ May 09 2020
I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high.
So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Go ahead, ridicule me for not knowing what confectioner's sugar is.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
My wife told me I had to pick between her and my sugar addiction.
I looked over, sadly, and said βGoodbye honey.β
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︎ Feb 13 2020
My wife was reducing some fruit, sugar and water for me one day...
My wife was reducing some fruit, sugar and water for me one day when she started banging the spoon on the edge of the pot.
I said "That's my jam!"
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Sugar free candies would be much cheaper without the sugar in it.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
There are many puns about food but not so many about sugar.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick?
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︎ Feb 16 2020
How do you make a car go fast?
Put sugar in the gas tank. Itβll be hyper, until it crashes.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Bee'd sugar
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Why did the artist add sugar to his paint?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
If sugar daddy gets hard, he becomes a caramel daddy.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
I wish sugar never would have been discovered...
There'd be a lot less suckers in the world.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
After being robbed a farmer beats up a thief with a sugar cane.
He is reported to have said "revenge is sweet"
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︎ Oct 13 2019
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
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︎ Oct 09 2019
NO thats sugar
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︎ May 31 2019
Spanish Satan ate too much sugar
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︎ Sep 11 2019
This French sugar brand
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︎ May 06 2019
I threw a fuzzy peach at his head and he said "that's not assault that's a sugar"
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Just got the test shot from our wedding photographer, but we accidentally dropped them into the mixing bowl filled with sugar, milk, and Jell-O mix.
Wife to be can't believe we actually did that, but I told her the proof is in the pudding.
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︎ Jul 03 2019
Sugar daddy
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Where did Harry Styles go to school?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Why does brown sugar cost more than white sugar?
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︎ Jul 05 2019
What do you call a magical sugar?
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Would you rather eat a baby goat or a madder baby?
Them: whatβs a madder baby?
Me: Nothing sugar, whatβs a matter with you? π
Sorry if this might be a repost, I didnβt make it up but itβs one of my favorite dad jokes of all time. Itβs really funny when you get someone aggressive whose like βwhat the fucks a madder baby?β
E: added the emoji cuz itβs good to give a sly smirk to finish it off. Also this works MUCH better in person
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︎ Jun 02 2020
A man was found dead, covered in toffee sauce, chocolate chunks and sugar sprinkles.
Police say he topped himself.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
So for Halloween Iβm going to wear a baby carrier with a bag of sugar in it.
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︎ Oct 22 2018
A Scandinavian farmer...
A Scandinavian farmer discovered that brewing herbs and spices and mixing it with some sugar made for an excellent and healthy way to start the day.
He called it Svede tea
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︎ Jun 10 2020
My daughter was looking through the different sugars at a restaurant and asked me what the sugar substitute was.
I told her that it's who replaces the regular sugar when it calls out sick for work.
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︎ May 01 2019
(cross post) I tried to come up with a pun for flour and sugar but I forgot.
I'll have to sift through my mind to find it.
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︎ Dec 14 2018
Itβs raining today. My wife asked me to get her an umbrella. I said why youβre not made of sugar.
She was pretty salty after that.
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︎ Apr 15 2019
What is this? A soda can for ants?
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︎ Sep 09 2019
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I donβt mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
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︎ Sep 07 2019
I work in a nursing home. A diabetic schizophrenic I always give sugar free life savers to just said, "You haven't brought me any damn candy all day!" I replied, " I just got here, you need to be patient."
She said,"I am a damn patient!!"
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︎ Oct 17 2018
What is the sweetest way to die?
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︎ Apr 06 2020
Bees like sugar, but you know what they really come after?
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︎ Jan 20 2019
Why do people shake sugar packets before opening them?
Because it would be dumb to shake them afterwards.
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︎ Jul 13 2018
Have you heard about the sugar and cream love affair?
It's the icing on the cake.
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︎ Jul 05 2018
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.
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︎ May 02 2019
This OJ is such a buzzkill
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︎ Jan 09 2020
As soon as space travel is possible, Iβm moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy
Iβm galactose intolerant
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︎ Jan 24 2019
I did a sugar plantation tour in Jamaica...
... the guide showed us all around the plantation and gave us the history of caster, granulated, confectioners, and pearl sugar. I asked the guide βhow much brown sugar do you make?β. He replied βno we have nunna dem here sirβ
βWhy not? Are they harder to find?β
βYes. Demeraraβ
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︎ May 18 2018
If we start importing sugar from Cuba. How many sugar Cubas do I need for my tea?
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︎ Mar 09 2017
Why do you never give sugar to electric guitars?
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︎ Jun 01 2018
Hey we ran out of sugar and I bought some
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︎ May 24 2018
I just saw a donkey fall into a bowl of sugar.
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︎ Feb 15 2017
Anyone need an ark?
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︎ May 23 2019
Friend: "Hey that's a pretty sweet walking stick!"
Me: "Thanks! I covered it in cane sugar!"
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︎ Feb 25 2020
What do you do if you can't get yourself a sugar daddy?
You get yourself a Splenda uncle...
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︎ Nov 27 2016
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︎ Oct 17 2015
Granny was reading a recipe out loud; 1 cup sugar, 1 cup sugar, 2 eggs separated...
My dad chimes in: why can't they be happily married?
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︎ Dec 13 2017
In Mexico, Coca Cola is made with cane sugar...
I guess you could call it "Coke-cane."
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︎ Nov 19 2017
My wife looked at me funny when I asked for a small scary tea with 2 sugars just like hers.
You know... a sweet little boo-tea
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︎ Aug 11 2017
My wife called and told me we have an ant infestation. She and asked me to bring home something good for the ants on my way home.
She looked really angry when I came home with sugar cubes.
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︎ Jan 14 2020
What do you call a longshoreman who only unloads sugar substitutes?
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︎ Jan 19 2015
I tried to steal some garments and a sweet substance, but only managed to get one of them.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
What do you call a tea, sweetened with honey, and sugar?
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︎ Dec 06 2016
In an effort to cut down on sugar, I went on an all veg, meat and carbs diet.
It was completely fruitless.
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︎ Jun 20 2016
Making some Pillsbury Ghost sugar cookies this weekend
On the package, the dough boy is under a sheet, like a ghost costume.
I said "aww, the Pillsbury dough boy died."
Kid: "what did he die of?"
Me, not realizing the joke would have even gone this far : "a yeast infection"
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︎ Oct 03 2016
Did you hear about that french street performer who was famous for juggling sugar cubes?
His name was Ambidextrose!
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︎ Jan 13 2015
What is Thanos' favorite vegetable?
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︎ Aug 25 2019
What do you call a dad with diabetes?
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︎ Nov 13 2019
How many lumps of sugar does Winnie the Pooh like?
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︎ Apr 08 2016
Before our tour of the sugar factory, my uncle warned us that it will smell of rodent bums
Because of all the mole asses.
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︎ Dec 17 2015
Adam Levine was sugar bombed and the perp was arrested for assault
Dad: "But it wasn't assault! It was a-sugar!"
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︎ May 07 2015
Whatβs a good pun for βLycheeβ
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︎ May 14 2019
me_irl
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Dad's standard answer to "How many sugars?" (...would you like in your tea/coffee)
"Fourteen."
<beat>
"...but don't stir it - I don't like it sweet."
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︎ Oct 23 2013
We had dinner at my parents house and my daughter was only eating the sugar snap peas
My dad: "they must be very ap-peas-ing to her taste buds"
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︎ Sep 03 2015
Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar.
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︎ Sep 22 2019
I like my sugar like I like my women.
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Puns about white sugar are rare, but puns about brown sugar?
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︎ Mar 04 2017
Jokes about white sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara
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︎ Jun 21 2018
You hear loads of jokes about white sugar, but brown sugar
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︎ Jul 03 2018
Where does sugar come from?
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︎ Nov 27 2017
A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar
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︎ Jan 19 2017
Jokes about white sugar are rare...
...but jokes about brown sugar, demerara.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 16 2016
Jokes about white sugar are rare
But jokes about brown sugar, demerara
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︎ Nov 10 2016
Dad: why is there so much sugar on the bench?
Me: sounds like someone was just too sweet
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︎ Aug 04 2015
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