Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to βDonβt Stop Believingβ.
It was an unexpected Journey.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their moustache, and suddenly...
She isnβt your friend anymore.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
My favorite grocery store cashier suddenly disappeared. When I asked what happened, they said-
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︎ Feb 27 2021
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
We were having breakfast yesterday, and dad suddenly threw a slinky at my head.
He said, βSpring is in the air!β
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︎ Mar 22 2021
The worker penny machine at the mint suddenly stopped working for no reason.
It just doesnβt make any cents
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︎ Mar 22 2021
A woman suddenly in labor shouts, shouldnβt! wouldnβt! couldnβt! didnβt! canβt! The doctor says "don't worry."
βThose are just contractions.β
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Suddenly YouTube is recommending me nothing but climate change videos
Praise the YouTube Al-Gore-Rythym
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I suddenly realized I was going through the airport turnstile sideways, but it was too late...
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︎ Mar 02 2021
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, itβs the little things that count!"
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︎ Aug 10 2020
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
I was driving absentmindedly and my wife suddenly said, βHey, you missed a right!β
I said, βThanks babe. You Mrs. Right!β
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I donβt know why Reddit is suddenly obsessed with beavers
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My friend and I were talking about another friend who became a preacher when he suddenly showed up seeking advice for his sermon...
I said, "well, speak of the devil!"
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Did you hear about the church musician who died suddenly?
Turns out it was organ failure.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I was driving through Quebec, and a cop suddenly pulled me over eating fries and gravy.
It was a poutine traffic stop.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Reading an interview with Alison Moyet and suddenly...
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︎ Nov 19 2020
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Was watching a shark movie, when suddenly it ended unexpectedly
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︎ Nov 14 2020
The man who invented the TASER has suddenly died
Family and friends are stunned...
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
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︎ Aug 29 2020
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, βIf the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?β
I said, βNo, we will still be friends.β
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︎ Aug 16 2020
I was playing Assassins Creed when suddenlyβ¦
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︎ Sep 08 2020
A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily...
All I said was "there's snow jobs available."
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︎ Oct 30 2020
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
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︎ Oct 14 2020
My dog got castrated and he suddenly stopped barking at the neighbours's dog.
I think he just doesn't have the balls to do it anymore.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Every fall, after all the foliage falls from my trees, the trees suddenly sprout new foliage. It makes me laugh.
I guess I like the comic releaf.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
βDonβt worry, he just got disco-nnected.β
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
A lumberjack was about to cut off a tree when it suddenly said "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack then said: "And you will dialogue."
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︎ Aug 26 2020
A little moron and a big moron were shingling a steep roof when suddenly the scaffolding collapsed. They both slid down the roof and stopped at the very edge, and then one fell off. Which one?
The big moron. The other one was a little more on.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
A man was trotting across the Prairie when is horse suddenly died...
It took him three days to make it to the closest town. To his dismay, nobody in that town had a horse for sale. So he started walking to the next town. After three days the man, exhausted, started asking around and looking for a horse for sale.Again, nobody could help him.He did,however,stumbled upon a place that sold horses but the man in charge was fresh out.
"Sold my last one just yesterday,"he said."I do, however, have a brother that sells horses. He's about a day's walk west.He owns a corral. He might have a horse to sell you."
So, once again, he sets foot West to the next town and finds the mans brother.
"I heard you might have a horse for sale, he asks."
"Well, I have one, but he don't look so good."he replies.
"I don't care. I've been walking for darn near a week and I'm tired and exhausted. I'll take him."
So after the man pays for the horse, he hops on him takes off and the horse hits a tree and stops.
"Hey,"the man says." I think you sold me a blind horse.Fact is, I'm sure of it!"
"Sir, I told you he don't look so good."the man fires back.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I was driving with my daughter when she suddenly pointed her finger to an orange sign and said βLook Daddy, Road Works Ahead!β
I said βI sure hope it works, or weβll have to take a longer route!β
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︎ Sep 26 2020
A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, βUno..dos..β and was suddenly gone.
He disappeared without a tres.
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︎ Mar 30 2020
I travel all over the world and I'm regular, then I come home and suddenly I'm incontinent.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
I was walking by a kindergarden with my girlfriend, when she suddenly started throwing dry grapes at the kids.
At that moment I knew she was good at raisin children.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Bran Stark sits down for breakfast and suddenly decides he no longer wants to be king.
In other words, bran flakes.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up and hears someone singing βDonβt stop Believingβ.
It was an unexpected Journey.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Oct 18 2020
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working.
It doesnβt make any cents.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
The 20c making machine at The Mint suddenly stop working for no reason.
It just doesn't make any cents
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︎ Mar 19 2021
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation.
It doesnβt make any cents.
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to βDonβt stop Believingβ.
It was an unexpected Journey.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Aug 23 2020
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, without explanation.
It doesn't make any cents!
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar!
almost made me puma pants
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︎ Aug 30 2020
I was hiking the other day when I suddenly saw a cougar.
Almost made me puma pants
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 07 2020
We were driving yesterday, and suddenly my wife turned to me and said, βHey, you missed a rightβ.
I said, βThanks babe. You MRS. right.β
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
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