I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
It was the Green Arrow.
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
I think I set my New-Year's Resolution too low
I thought 'He knows how to make an entrance'.
But it turns out it was just a facade.
I'm pretty sure that's a salt.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
That was just one of the downfalls!
So I called up Dewalt and they said: “not to worry! It’s just a fire drill.”
REDDIT! IM GOING TO BE A DAD!!! :D
I guess my butterflies
The steaks had never been higher
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Because they're lit
He's a keeper.
My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"
Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"
An Ambulance. Difficulty speaking is a common sign of a stroke.
(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]
This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.
My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.
Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"
Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.
After a few seconds, he says to me "Just spray yourself down with Windex. It prevents streaking. Have a nice day!"
He grins and walks away. I started laughing (a little too hysterically ... mostly because of relief).
Someone took the first leader's crown. I've heard complaints that he was winging every decision, running around like a headless chicken. He was probably too cocky to plan for coop attempts.
More on this as I find out information.
A grocery store.
My first thought was, "why is that not the goal for every day?" When I asked OK but why, her response was, "We can't let the last day of the year end without a bang!"
The Space Goat.
Things escalated quickly.
It's too tired
What a Catastrophe.
NonsequitAir
