My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
I got into trouble at the park today - people told me to stop arranging the squirrels in order of height
I guess they were critter-sizing me
At a rest stop, the other day, a cop asked me why I was stroking the ground....
“Officer, the sign clearly says to ‘pet area.’”
My family asked me to stop telling them Thanksgiving jokes
But I told them I couldn’t quit cold turkey
My wife told me to stop cross dressing.
So I packed her things and left.
People keep telling me to stop putting up walls
Feeling excluded, my toddler asked me to stop spelling out words while he was around.
My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop the Star Wars puns.
Divorce is strong with this one.
My wife told me to stop stealing her kitchen utensils or else.
But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
An officer pulled me over for not stopping in a stop sign and asked why
I simply said "I don't speak sign language"
Guy gets pulled over for running a stop sign. He says to the cop “give me a break man, I slowed down.” The cop starts beating on the guy and says...
“So... do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?”
I wonder how I didn’t know me and my girlfriend’s relationship was coming to a stop
You need to stop talking to me about vegetables.
My wife said she's gonna leave me if I don't change and stop reading erotic novels
I decided to turn over a new leaf
My girlfriend told me she would to leave if I didn’t stop quoting Micheal Jackson songs.
This dog won't stop leaving me alone
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making Shrek puns
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me
so I asked him to leave me a loan.
My mom told me to stop singing "Im a Believer" because it was annoying.
At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face
My dad told me to stop making tree puns.
But he's not the balsa me.
My son comes up to me today and tells me he’s gay. My wife tried to stop me but I couldn’t stop myself shouting at him.
Hi gay I’m dad. I just get so excited at every oppertunity to say it.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing “I'm a Believer”..
Stop calling me orange! Impeach!
My wife said she'd leave me if I didn't stop talking in clickbait.
What happened next will shock you!
I used to be addicted to brake fluid and couldn't stop. It was a gateway, driving me to power steering fluid.
...I have to find a way to turn my life around before I start hitting the transmission fluid. That would shift my addiction into high gear.
My wife wants me to stop making brats and do chicken parm or something
I told her if she can't handle me at my wurst she doesn't deserve me at my breast
A friend didn't want to stop telling me all about his philosophical ideas.
So I told him to stop being such a Kant!
My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice
I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...
PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?
My wife said she's going to leave me if I don't stop with the click bait
You wont believe what happened next!
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.
My girlfriend told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo
That's when I really had to put my foot down.
Someone asked me if I would ever stop singing Wonderwall
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo
I had to put my foot down
My wife asked me to stop singing "Wonderwall" to her
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down
My wife said she wants me to stop listening to Wonderwall…
My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo..
So I had to put my foot down
My friend told me to stop singing I’m a believer and I thought she was joking
My friend asked me to stop singing Wonderwall
My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.
That was when I put my foot down!
My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer."
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer"...
My wife told me to stop singing I’m a believer by the monkees, I thought she was joking
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