How can you tell if there's a Stegosaurus in your fridge?

You can't close the door.

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📅︎ Jul 04 2019
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Why was the stegosaurus such a good volleyball player?

Because he could really spike the ball!

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jun 13 2019
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the t-rex asked the stegosaurus, "what's another word for honesty?"

stegosaurus said, "i don't know. ask thesaurus."

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👤︎ u/milhauser
📅︎ Mar 02 2017
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Why did the stegosaurus eat the factory?

He's a plant eater!

--Courtesy of my dad earlier today

👍︎ 12
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📅︎ Nov 22 2013
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T-Rexes hunting for dinner

This is my dad's favorite dad joke.

A teenage T-Rex named Maynard and his father were out looking for dinner.

"Oh hey, dad! Look! A stegosaurus! That'd be good!"

"My Maynard son, no. That would be so hard to chew. There's so much armor there."

A little while later:

"Dad, check it. A big old nest of Pteranadons! Chicken tonight!"

"No, my Maynard son. They would fly too fast, and we cannot reach up there with our arms."

Finally, "Dad! Dad! Check it out! A herd of brontosaurus! It'd be so easy!"

"No, my Maynard son. Brontosaurus ribs take a long time to properly age before they're good eating. Everyone knows this."

The teenage T-Rex stomped and roared, "Daaad, what are we doing? There's stuff right here to eat! What the hell are you looking for, anyway?"

The elder T-Rex shook his head and said, "Carrion, my Maynard son."

👍︎ 28
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📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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Girlfriend got me good earlier

Back story: I'm at a shop getting my car put on a dyno. A dyno measures the power output. I didn't tell my girlfriend but she knew I was planning on getting it done soon.

Me: I'm in neighboring city

GF: what are you doing there?

Me: car stuff

GF: are you getting a stegosaurus

Me: what...?

GF: I thought you were getting a dino!

Me: ohmygod.

👍︎ 22
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📅︎ Apr 21 2015
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