My wife asked me if I could sing all the songs from the Shrek soundtrack. I said "No, just some."

"... BODY once told me..."

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head...

He said β€œtell me more”.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What happens when you're looking for the Mortal Kombat soundtrack?
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I tried to buy a mortal kombat soundtrack..

But all I could find is finnish hymns...

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adamj91
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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My girlfriend asked me to stop singing the Shrek soundtrack, I thought she was joking

but then I saw her face

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I listened to the new Lion King soundtrack tonight...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siro300104
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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Did you know Bono did the soundtrack for the new season of "You"?

It's called U2.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sixteenth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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I asked my daughter to help me because I'm having trouble downloading the Titanic soundtrack album onto my phone...

It just keeps syncing...

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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Somebody should make a racetrack like California’s musical road and call it a soundtrack
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCPPfanboi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
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My daughter keeps playing the Moana soundtrack over and over.

I told her, "you're really wearing out You're Welcome."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkunkardDoug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes soundtrack is prodigiously punny! (X-post from /r/movies, thought you guys would appreciate) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daw…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aznednacni
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
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I Was in the TV Soundtrack Section at a Record Store With My Son & He Asked What My Favorite Album Was...

...I said: "It's a toss up between Bundy and Borland... butt honorable mention goes to Swearengen".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dustimo
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2017
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Europe = You’re up

I was listening to music with my dad recently and we were taking turns playing songs. I played the song β€œtime has come” by the band Europe, from the hot rod soundtrack (Hilarious movie btw). I pointed to my phone and said β€œEurope!”. My dad yelled β€œI’m up? Alright!” And started looking for the next song to play. I was like β€œNo! EUROPE” and he was like β€œI KNOW, IM UP” and proceeded to play the next song. Afterward he said he was just fucking with me. A true dad moment. Thought you guys might appreciate.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My daughter dadjoked me

While she was wearing a Frozen dress and singing something from the soundtrack, she farted. I turned to her and asked, "Was that you?"

She replied, "I let it go."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeleeorg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2015
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/txgsync
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Dad's new ringtone

So my dad got a new ringtone for his phone a few months back. It's the theme from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." Great movie, great tune.

However.

EVERY time my dad's phone rings now, it is inevitably followed by, "Excuse me, guys. I believe Mr. Eastwood is calling."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BilliamBaggins
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

But all I could find were Finnish Hymms.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeygar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

All I could find were Finnish Hymns.

(crosspost from r/jokes, sorry if you've reddit before)

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeoplesHero87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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