tl;dr explain every single pun you make or else it gets removed.
For the sake of cleaning up a lot of my mod queue, whenever you make a post, explain it. There's been more and more rule 6 reports as of late, so this should help clear up a lot of that. This rule change is to lessen confusion and simultaneously help us clear out the reposters who are too lazy to even read the sidebar before posting. formerly rule 6 was:
Post must be a pun and must be explained in the comments. If your post or image isn't self-explanatory, you must comment on it with enough information for readers to get the joke.
We are now changing it to:
Post must be a pun and must be explained. No exceptions! You must explain your pun somewhere in the text or in the comment section.
###IF YOU DO NOT EXPLAIN YOUR PUN, IT WILL BE REMOVED!
carry on
I guess nobody Reddit.
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?
But then I got married and we bought a second night stand.
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
They both got six months.
Married
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
Question: What about Married one?
State-of-the-Ark technology
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
It was always so jaded.
A trophy!!!
He was sailing on the seven C’s
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
Happiness comes from drugs, not relationships.
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
“...cereal killer.”
He painted loads of them
...that only happens once in a blue moon.
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
He was absolutely delighted.
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
That's alot of information to swallow.
We are in a very serious relationship.
Just not in the right order!
Then I started listening to full albums, and hardly ever left my room.
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
SHE WAS LIVID AND SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH TWO DEAD DOGS !
Current status.. single
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
They're all married with children.....
