I shuck at puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarleyMcGnarley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I had a book fall on my head today,

I only have my shelf to blame.

πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord-harks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Shucking Peas with my Dad 10 Seconds Ago

One pea falls out of the pod onto the ground......

Dad: "Oh look! an escapee!"

Mom and I groan....

πŸ‘︎ 399
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πŸ‘€︎ u/northWest_Nile
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2014
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In a vote for my favourite film of the Star Wars franchise ...

... β€˜Solo’ would win Hans down.

(I’m sure that’s been done before but it’s new to me. Sorry if that’s the case! Meanwhile I am trying to come up with a version about who shot first - Han or Greedo - but Solo had one Han up and the other under the table, so not both Hans and not really β€œdown” either. Shucks)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedBobRob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What color is the wind?

Blew.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil-_-nuggs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My daughter came up with this one

Hey, do you know where the farm is?

Just around the CORNer.

Super proud.

Yes, we live in Ohio. All the farms here are corn.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZayroReave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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What did the baby corn say to mama corn?

Where’s my pop corn?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otacon368
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What's the difference between an epileptic oyster schucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carriager
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boob implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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2 Corn Cobs saw each other naked

They were shucked!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlayCC
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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After years of training as a chef, the only job I got was preparing oysters at a small restaurant.

I have to say it really shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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An oyster says to her boyfriend " I feel like I can really open up to you."

"Awww shucks"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jedispartan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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I made this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DerpyDinoXyX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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The lettuce at the bottom of our pan was frozen solid.

Coworker 1: Aw shucks looks like we got the wrong lettuce.

Coworker 2: What do you mean? It's the same lettuce we usually get.

Coworker 1: Nuh uh, this is clearly iceberg lettuce.

Badum tss

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Awe shucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cplaprade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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You got any corny jokes?

I'm all ears

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_potato_eat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Got my girl to roll her eyes with this one at the fair.

There were costumed food characters on stage in a cooking demonstration at the fair we were at (ice cream, churro, orange, and really round corn on the cob).

As the corn character was introduced, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Aww shucks, that corn is a little husky."

The immediate look of disdain and the eye roll from her is my reason for living.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkelsey4610
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2016
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I just got hired by a high end restaurant, but the only thing I do is prepare oysters.

My job really shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Have you ever been to a corn field in the middle of the night

And felt like you were being STALKED It can feel very EARY Sorry about this pun being too CORNY The joke must really SHUCK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoTimedGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Why did the corn farmer go to jail?

He was stalking someone in a field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Just yellow please

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,

"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrotalusHorridus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why shouldn't you eat oysters with Method Man?

Because Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to shuck with

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffe_Racer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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What did the shy ear of corn say after he was complemented?

Aww shucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcferguson128
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Got my wife with a food joke.

Wife: Did you hear Buca di Beppo (an Italian restaurant) is serving a three course dish called Friends, Romans, and Countrymen?

Me: Will we need to bring corn?

Wife: I don't know. Why?

Me: I assume we will need to lend them some ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xilban
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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My mom and I were cooking corn

Me: (my usual set up for a bad pun) I am trying to think a of joke about corn

Mom:don't split any hairs about it

Me: Oh shuck you took my pun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboy000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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What did the farmer say when taking care of his corn

Aww shucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caseroom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Wanna hear a joke about ears?

Nah, it's too corny....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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Teucrium Corn Fund

The other day, I was researching the stock market because I thought it wise to start investing at an early age. After hours of research and going through the myriad shares I could buy, I passed by one that caught my eye...the Teucrium Corn Fund. I could invest in corn, that'll surely stay steady, everyone needs corn! However, after awhile of second guessing myself, as I often do, I decided that I hold off on the stock market until I did more research and study. Yes, I'll invest in corn stocks when I have an ear for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sioswing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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My kids think I'm corny, but...

at least they don't think my jokes shuck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gh5046
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Sometimes I fantasize about quitting my job and going to work in an oyster bar....

...but I heard the work kinda shucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threeninjas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2016
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A corny joke

Daughter: Wow, those are some big ears of corn.

Me: The better to hear you with, my dear.

Commence eyeroll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Djerrid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
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What do you call a corny comeback?

A-maize-zing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drtran4418
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2014
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What did the man say when he dropped his corn?

Oh shucks!

OK, that was kinda corny...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yesirote
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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Father in law was barbecuing for labor day

I asked if he wanted to help and he said Yeah for sure, but then I said "nah forget, you can just go shuck yourself". He was proud I married into the family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TEMPLEWORKER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
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Made a dad joke on Facebook. My dad friend mercilessly shows me how it's done

My status: Any tips on how to keep raccoons from eating my corn crop? I'm all ears. But seriously raccoons are assholes.

Dad friend responds back to back.

"There's a kernel of truth to that statement!"

"But shucks, poor guys can't help it."

"Maybe get your dog to start stalking them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Army90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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Eating dinner with a group of friends this weekend and the oyster appetizer was at the other end of the table. 'Can you get me an oyster?'

"Sorry, they're all gone."

"Aww shucks!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagsMaloney
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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Went to daughters Gymnastics event and was expecting Shock and Awe.

All I saw though was Awe Shucks...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwmountainman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?

Where's the pop corn?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manyu_abee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

β€œAw, shucks.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheYonko27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What is the difference between an epileptic clam shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?

One shucks between fits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gaeleng
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What did the corn say when it failed it’s exams?

Aww shucks!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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What did the ear of corn say when all of his clothes fell off?

Aww shucks!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostMacone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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Dropped an ear of corn today..

Aw shucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimoTime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Awh shucks

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsasz_hands
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2016
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