Share price Puns

My mate and I bought some N2O canisters to share between us, and he saved two for his girlfriend.

Messaged me, “I just had my last 2 whippets, looks like my girlfriend will miss out”.

I said, “Don’t worry, she can buy some off me at an inflated price”.

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.