Saloon Puns

I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.

He looks around and asks, “Who shot my paw?”

Audi

and says, "I don't want no trouble, I'm jus' lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

and he just stands there, surveying the assemblage as the room goes quiet. And suddenly he yells, "All you dirty bastards, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

And the crowd rushing the exists raises a cloud of dust, obscuring vision. When it settled, the gunslinger notices one little wizened old man tucked in a corner beside the piano. The gunslinger walks over, his spurs making a small jingling sound. He stands in front of the still-seated old man. "WELL?," he demands.

The old man looks up earnestly into the gunslinger's face, "Sure was a lot of 'em, wasn't ther?".

Barbed Wire

The bartender responds, "Well, ain't you heard cowboy, we gonna string up Brown Paper Rattler mighty high, even the angels are gonna hear his neck break!"

Hopalong asks, "Why they call him Brown Paper Rattler?"

The bartender chuckles, "Why, old Rattler wears a brown paper Stetson, a brown paper waistcoat and even right down to brown paper socks."

Puzzled, Hopalong then asks, "So why you hanging him?"

...and the bartender replies, "For rustling."

And places a bandaged limb on the bar. He announces, "I am looking for the man who shot my paw!"

I’m looking for the man who shot my paw

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon and ties it outside. He enters the bar, sits down, and orders a whiskey.

Minutes later he hears someone ride off with his horse. He runs outside, and sure enough, his horse is gone.

He goes back in the saloon, fires his gun three times in the air, and says "At the count of ten my horse better be back here. I don't want to do what I had to do in Laredo."

A few minutes later, he sees through the door his horse being returned.

Just before he leaves the saloon, the bartender whispers to him "so what did you have to do in Laredo?"

The cowboy says "I had to walk home".

There was a 3 legged dog. After a long journey,the dog walks into a small mining town in the desert. In the town, there's a saloon, the type with the swinging doors.The dog walks through and stands in the entrance, everyone stops what they are doing and the saloon goes quiet...

The dog stares down the place and says,

"I'm Looking for the man who shot my Paw."

...he sits down on a stool, flags the bartender and says: 'may I please have...........a beer?'

The bartender says, 'sure...but what's with the big pause?'

The bear lifts his hands and says, 'I don't know, I've had 'em since I was a cub.'

walks I to a saloon and says, "I'm looking for the no good scoundrel who shot my pa!"

What did the termite say when he walked into a saloon?

"where is the bar tender? "

What did the three legged dog say when he went into the bar?

" I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. "

Edit: hit not git in the title. Too fat of fingers for my phone...

“Alright, who shot my paw!”

I'm looking for the man who shot my paw

He says “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”

"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

He says: “I’m lookin for the guy who shot my paw”

I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.