For Frick sakes Richard
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πŸ‘€︎ u/please_be-gentle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.

I'm going vegan today.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I bought a collectors bottle of sake from a Japanese restaurant

It was a keepsake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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For fox sake
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Fuck's sake imgur.com/k9SumUD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boi_heavy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Tokenism is when your organization has only one PoC just for appearances sake.

If you have only one elf, that's Tolkienism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Damnyoureyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
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MOTHERfucker "I'm tired of these Mother sakes in this Mother game!" - Samuel Lucas Jackson
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacoflongons
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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For Frick sake dad

When you ask your dad if he’s alright: β€œno, I’m half left.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/typical_guy1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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God's Sake Dad (x-post from /r/cringepics)
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huckingfipster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2013
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I lost my fortune cookie for the sake of a dad joke

I was out to lunch with a few colleagues at a local Chinese buffet. The way seating is laid out, we four were seated at a long table with a couple on either end of us. The couple to my left received their fortune cookies and the lady cracked hers open. I heard her disappointment as she told her husband in anguish "There's no fortune in mine! My fortune cookie has no fortune!"

I looked at her and said "Ma'am, that's unfortunate." All my colleagues collectively sighed, and my buddy across the table from me said "You know what scrovak, that was so bad, she gets your cookie now."

The lady was delighted both at the joke and the new cookie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrovak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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Co-worker said he was going home to drink some sake.

I said that I hoped for his sake that it was good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot_cousin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
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I asked my mechanic why he was dressed as a female fox.

He said he was just vixen my car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Beautiful
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakingofmeme
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Two men were caught in a severe storm

John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank

β€œJesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”

Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards

John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones

β€œFor Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”

With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemansick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Anti wax or smth, idk im not autistic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnofX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Pulled off a real-life-one, i guess...

Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.

so here goes...

(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)

daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?

me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?

daughter: elizabeth-gramma.

me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?

(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)

daughter: don't know, who?

me: my mum.

(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.

Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.

.
.
.
I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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I’m just gonna leave this one here
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liam987987
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What a sicko
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/me-and-only-me-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are standing, watching a street performer do some juggling.

The performer notices they have a rather poor view, so stands on a large box, asking 'Can you see me better now?' They reply:

'Yes' 'Oui' 'Si' 'Ja'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilGingeyboi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Feeling foxy
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinity_entropy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I got a warning message from a mod saying β€œmy jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this sub”

I replied saying β€œlet the people in this sub decide, for christ sake”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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My friends and I were discussing about different kinds of alcoholic drinks, and this guy kept talking about a Japanese one

just for the Sake of it

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coconutbunch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Tennis player Sampras needed rice wine and sent me to buy a bottle without giving me cash...

For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?

For God's sake.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AjahnMara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"

Edit: get consent people

"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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I animated this poster. Oh shit it's -
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_Hows_Life
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragonclaw123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I’m going to start a brand of rice wine and I’ll call it for fucks.

Oh..... for fucks sake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Briccone1979
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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[META] r/puns rule 6 changes

tl;dr explain every single pun you make or else it gets removed.


For the sake of cleaning up a lot of my mod queue, whenever you make a post, explain it. There's been more and more rule 6 reports as of late, so this should help clear up a lot of that. This rule change is to lessen confusion and simultaneously help us clear out the reposters who are too lazy to even read the sidebar before posting. formerly rule 6 was:

Post must be a pun and must be explained in the comments. If your post or image isn't self-explanatory, you must comment on it with enough information for readers to get the joke.

We are now changing it to:

Post must be a pun and must be explained. No exceptions! You must explain your pun somewhere in the text or in the comment section.

###IF YOU DO NOT EXPLAIN YOUR PUN, IT WILL BE REMOVED!

carry on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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My wife gets mad at me for hiding kitchen utensils.

But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/admchaps81887
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2017
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The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray

He was a seasoned veteran

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UchihaDivergent
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swannyboy13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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MRW family in Oklahoma City ask if my new job will be closer to home. imgur.com/gallery/kUruTHZ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilrmoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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Dr. Henry Heimlich dies at age 96

Sorry, I'm getting a little choked up over here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nongshim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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Have you heard of the japanise man who stole liquor from god?

He did it for god's sake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atvaisman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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No telling what was in there

We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.

I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.

This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LapTrap
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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So, there's some robbers going into a bank

You know the drill. AK47s, skimasks, the works. Anyway, they tell everybody to lie down on the floor. All the people in the bank hits the floor but this old man. He is still standing. So, the robbers tells him, not very politely i might add, to lie down on the floor.
Old man: "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm CIA"
Robbers: "We don't give a shit, get on the floor NOW!"
Old man: "Nope. I'm CIA."
Old mans wife: "Walt, for Gods sake. You're not CIA, you're senile!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgglas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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There was once a priest who went to see the world after taking his oath....

After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.

Many years passed by like that.

At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.

With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:

  • Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.

A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:

  • Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the stranger’s hand and immediately he asked:

  • Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasn’t in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didn’t even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:

  • Thank you

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doty152
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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A local bakery just burned down...

The owner put everything he had into that shop, but now his whole business is toast!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notfawcett
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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I've been studying comedy for years under a Japanese master of humor. I have to admit...

I've got a great sensei of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foofusdotcom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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My wife came downstairs this morning and laughed, "You had too much to eat yesterday and you've got a hangover, don't you?!" "You don't get a hangover from eating too much!" I challenged.

She dug, "You do! For goodness sake, loosen your belt, it's disgusting!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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I'm going to start a Japanese liquor company, call it "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck"

Four fucks sake

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TmPeanut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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Senior sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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