(Rimshot intensifies)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kzgamer3133
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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*more rimshots*
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalGeode
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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My Pop (a Patriot fan), just sent this opera meets football rimshot

Have you heard about the new opera that Johann Strauss wrote, it is called

Die Flederballs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3rdgearisheaven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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In case you really need that rimshot sound when browsing this subreddit instantrimshot.com/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/userino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
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Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dillpickle330
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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Did you hear about the underfunded fitness movie?

I hear it ran on a hamstring budget.

(rimshot).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wheeler_the_llama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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What’s the internal temperature of a TaunTaun?

It’s around Lukewarm!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldstyle21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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After our separation my wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rigatavr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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I went in for a routine checkup, and they took way too much in the blood draw. I was dizzy, and it was a real pain in the neck...

I'm just not sure about this Dr. Acula.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_zensphere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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A sheep, a drum and a snake falls off a cliff....

Baa dum tsss

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximRouiller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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I don't understand why convertibles are so expensive!

They have no overhead!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
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Got Step-dad joked

While talking about cars he says : 'Why do chicken coups have two doors? Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan. " <rimshot>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r11132a
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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I saw a sign for a garage sale

when I got there they only had one left but refused to sell it to me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarke1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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Two dad jokes in 10 seconds

My wife is reading a list of potential migraine triggers to me (we're trying to figure out what my triggers are; I'm a recent sufferer).

She asks me if I've ever taken an MAOI since, "They discovered that people who took them in the 50's have issues with tyramines [a known migraine trigger]."

I told her, "No, I've never taken one." She asks, "Are you sure?"

I say, "I'm sure, plus I wasn't alive in the 50's." rimshot

I look at my 11 y/o daughter and say, "Dad joke?"

She asks, "Did you say Dad joke or bad joke?"

I respond, "Isn't that the same thing?"

It's good to be king.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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My dad jokes too. . .

So having just seen this subreddit, I realize that my dad makes dad jokes too!

Here's some examples!

Whenever I / my sister would fall, or crash into something. Like, say, I fell on the floor

Me: Owww! Dad! I fell on the floor!

Dad: Oh no! Is the floor alright?!

(ba dum chhh!)


My sister's name is Helga, which can also translate to weekend in Norwegian

Dad: Question.

Helga: Yeah?

Dad: What are you doing in the weekend, weekend?

(ba dum bow-bow kachika-wow chhh!!)


Dad and me are avid fishers, so we've gone on fishing-trips in the nearby fjord, my dad is the type who buys the most expensive gear and fancies himself a bit of an expert

Dad: Say, let's make this interesting, let's have a fishing competition!

Me: Okay!

later that day I had gotten by far the most and biggest catches

Me: Hah, I won dad!

Dad: No, no. We weren't fishing about the most fish caught, the winner was the one with the least fish! I won!

(ba chinka dinga ka pow, bow dow kow!!!)

... Okay, so maybe the last one wasn't much of a joke, though. Hope you enjoyed the dadly jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeSanti
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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Dad joke made during a band performance.

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gonnnondorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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I got a genuine laugh when I dad joked my wife and 9 year old son today. :) Wife: Do you know Trevor Wang?

Wife: "Do you know Trevor Wang?"

My 9 year old son Xavier: "You mean Trevor Wong? Yeah, he's a trouble maker."

Wife: "Trevor? No he's not, he's a good kid."

Me: "I think Xavier's right and Trevor's Wong."

rimshot

I actually got a laugh. I'm gonna savor this time while my son still likes my dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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As a new dad, I'm off to a great start

Background: Wife and I took our son to his 1 month pediatrician appointment yesterday, where the only minor issue she noted was a slight flattening on the left side of his head because he likes to look one way instead of the other. Hilarity ensued when we got home.

Wife: "If we're not careful, our son is going to have to wear one of those special helmets because he'll have a flat head."

Me: "Then I guess it's a good thing we didn't name him Phillip!"

/cue rimshot

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
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Idea Channel dad joke.

Dad joke at 1:16 complete with rimshot, but you should probably watch the first 1:15 to get the full effect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewbeta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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