Two dad jokes in 10 seconds

My wife is reading a list of potential migraine triggers to me (we're trying to figure out what my triggers are; I'm a recent sufferer).

She asks me if I've ever taken an MAOI since, "They discovered that people who took them in the 50's have issues with tyramines [a known migraine trigger]."

I told her, "No, I've never taken one." She asks, "Are you sure?"

I say, "I'm sure, plus I wasn't alive in the 50's." rimshot

I look at my 11 y/o daughter and say, "Dad joke?"

She asks, "Did you say Dad joke or bad joke?"

I respond, "Isn't that the same thing?"

It's good to be king.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joke made during a band performance.

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gonnnondorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
As a new dad, I'm off to a great start

Background: Wife and I took our son to his 1 month pediatrician appointment yesterday, where the only minor issue she noted was a slight flattening on the left side of his head because he likes to look one way instead of the other. Hilarity ensued when we got home.

Wife: "If we're not careful, our son is going to have to wear one of those special helmets because he'll have a flat head."

Me: "Then I guess it's a good thing we didn't name him Phillip!"

/cue rimshot

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Idea Channel dad joke.

Dad joke at 1:16 complete with rimshot, but you should probably watch the first 1:15 to get the full effect.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drewbeta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.