I found it hard to achieve class consciousness.
So we all had to get on stage and tell a prepared joke. But before that even got started, our teacher said,
"I like your jorts, did you cut them yourself?"
"Yeah, they used to be regular jants."
A can’t opener
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
Nobody expects the spanish intro mission
We were at the dinner table with my adult children and my son said he was teaching his physics class the concept of simple machines. He had given the class a brief intro about their usefulness and how they can be found everywhere. Then he asked the students to come up with all the examples they could think of.
My daughter, barely containing herself to wait for a pause in the conversation, said with only the slightest of grins, "So the lesson would be 50 ways to love your lever?"
My dadness has been passed on. Nothing left for me to do here.
Me:Isn’t this intro to philosophy?
Professor: Yes, and I think you’ll fail.
In Poland we celebrate Father's Day today. Together with several friendly fathers, we have created a manual for the newborn fathers. Have fun :)
LINK: newther.com
The intro ended with a question: How did the Nabataeans build this city of stone?
From the back of the room I hear my dad say: “clearly they built it on rock and roll”
sigh
The episodes always start off with someone getting sick or injured, and during this particular intro, a mom was helping her daughter rock climb in a studio. The mom's hands became numb for whatever reason, and she subsequently let go of the rope, letting the kid fall.
My dad goes, "That's what happens when you're at the end of your rope."
So this happened a couple of years ago. I worked in a room of about 40 engineers. Someone on a different team always had his phone on loud, and his ringtone set as the Friends theme (which soon became pretty annoying)
Anyway, one afternoon, the offender had gone for a cigarette but left his phone behind. Phone rings, and no-one dares answer his phone for him, so we all ignore it and eventually they ring off.
Moments later, same thing happens, I think it gets through the intro and into the first verse before they ring off.
Silence. We breathe a sigh of relief. They've given up.
...
*Ding digading ding dinga din...
Someone in the office yells "HE IS ON A BREAK"
So I'm not a dad but I do have fatherly aspirations. I told this joke at a wedding for a friend of mine. All names have changed except the bride's last name- it's a big part of the joke. My buddy we'll call Bob Smith, and his bride is Jane Patton.
After the father of the bride gives his toast, and the best man does his, I grab the mike from the best man and begin. This is as verbatim as I can remember. So I intro myself and promise to keep my comment short and say,
"Bob, I just want to say you're a great friend of mine, like a brother, and one thing I love about you is you're always surprising me. Like today for instance, I didn't know you were an inventor. Lo and behold, you've got your name on a Patton!"
Chuckles, drowned out by groans. I apologize and return to my seat.
At the dining room table, younger sister is talking about her intro to Spanish class and I passively mention "I was never really good at rolling my r's."
Right after I say this, my stepdad begins sliding in a circle in his chair. When I finally say "What are you doing!?" he responds:
"I'm rolling my arse."
during the intro of Band of Brothers
Me: Hey Dad, wanna watch Band of Brothers?
Dad: Maybe, what's it about?
Me: A Band of Brothers
Dad: What kind of music do they play?
