My Prophecy class just got cancelled

Due to unforeseen circumstances

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📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do you call someone who argues in favour of the Greek god of the sun, poetry, medicine, and prophecy?

An Apollo-jist

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📅︎ Oct 05 2017
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An Amoeba predicted that it would successfully split itself in two.

It was a cell fulfilling prophecy

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👤︎ u/g1flash23
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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I have an unoriginal joke.

But you probably Reddit

Edit: Holy Crap I Wrote this last night as a joke and DID not expect it to blow up, thanks for the silver my dude.

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👤︎ u/DolphinzX
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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‪Did I ever tell you about the premonition I had in Biology class?‬

‬ It was a cell fulfilling prophecy.‬

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👤︎ u/allanon101
📅︎ Dec 22 2019
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Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus

"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."

Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"

"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"

"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."

"Well?" Santa says expectantly.

"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."

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👤︎ u/djott3r
📅︎ Dec 15 2019
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Dad joked a 3 year old, got Dad joked back.

It's Dinner time-

3y.o.: "Papa you spoon." ( which translates to - please feed me).

Me: "You spoon, I'm busy forking."

3y.o.: "Papa, fork yourself."

edit- Thank you for all the love. Forgot to mention the 3y.o. in question is a she.

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👤︎ u/F0dd3r
📅︎ Mar 03 2014
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Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?

Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.

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👤︎ u/Torley_
📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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Did anyone foresee all of these posts about moths?

I'm looking for the moth-meme prophecies

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👤︎ u/B8it
📅︎ Oct 02 2018
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