Portuguese people Puns

They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.

Dad: How do you pronounce that one?

Me: Falafel?

Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..

Daughter: (Face palm)

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EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.

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and again..

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Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.

Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.

Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)

Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)

Did you hear about the crosseyed teacher? He got fired because he couldn't control his pupils.

Did you hear about the doctor that got fired? He kept losing his patience(patients).

How many people in South America speak Portuguese? A brizillion.