My platoon sergeant's name is Lami

He was explaining to us what we should do with our new maps

Platoon sergeant: "You have to trim it down to the area we're in and then waterproof it."

Me: So you're saying we have to... laminate it?

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Jul 28 2014
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A bee sea!
👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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A woman told me she was in love with 14 soldiers and didn't know what to do.

I told her not to worry - it was clearly just a platoonic relationship.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Jun 18 2020
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What do you call a Marine with IQ of 160?

A platoon

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ May 18 2019
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My Dad's, Dad joke.

(We are from Montana.)

Montana and North Dakota are in the middle of a war. The NDs have amassed a huge army and are about to march over a hill to invade MT. The commander of the ND army decides to send out a couple of scouts to see if the way is clear. Almost immediately after the two scouts disappear over the top of the hill, loud crashing and rumbling sounds come from the direction they went. After waiting until they are overdue for return, the commander decides to send a squad over to check out what happened. As they pass out of sight, a loud raucous was again heard from the other side of the hill. The commander becomes concerned and decides not to wait for them to return. He sends an entire platoon over the hill, telling them to take out any resistance they meet and return with any survivors. Once again, as the men disappear over the hill, the terrible sounds of war rush over the entire army and then slowly die down until nothing could be heard but the beating of the commanders heart. A proud man, never before defeated in battle, he decides to lead the entire army over the hill himself to destroy the opposition once and for all, but as they begin to march they see a single, mangled, ND soldier pulling himself up over the top of the hill by the only functioning limb of his body. Beaten, bloody and near death, he manages, with help, to make it to the commander and says; "Sir... (cough) Don't go... (spit, cough) It's a trap..."

And in the surprise induced silence he says;

"There's TWO of 'em."

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Dec 13 2013
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