7 Hilarious Phlegm Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Some kid in my class started making phlegm jokes the other day.

I told him that it snot funny!

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👤︎ u/GreenyOneOOne

📅︎ Jan 08 2019

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I Used to Have an affair with some mucous

Could say she was an old phlegm

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👤︎ u/AJAX214_

📅︎ Apr 19 2020

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Conversation with my wife about our daughter...

Our 15 month old daughter was coughing at dinner and then spat out some phlegm and rubbed it all over her belly. My wife was disgusted so I turned to our daughter and said, "Why are you being so phlegm-boyant?"

My wife groaned and rolled her eyes.

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👤︎ u/dudecancode

📅︎ Jan 31 2019

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What’s green and stands on one leg?

A phlegm-ingo.

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👤︎ u/dis_newt02

📅︎ Dec 17 2018

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Someone who gets rid of him by leaving it in the sidewalk is...

Edit: Should read "Gum". Phone keyboards!) A littering piece of spit.

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👤︎ u/aescula

📅︎ Jul 08 2017

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What allergy ridden English author wrote novels about a British spy?

Ian Phlegming

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Feb 25 2018

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what do you call a gay man with a cold?

Phlegm-Boyant!

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👤︎ u/kaboose286

📅︎ Jan 07 2015

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