To pick their noses.
All the critics agree, it's hay-mazing!
Squash
crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
She said "he's just going through a rough patch".
He told me he used to have a glass eye, but that it had become infected. When he went to the doctor he was prescribed three eye drops each morning and evening. By the first morning though he’d dropped it so many times it had shattered!
I haven't wanted a vegetable in weeks.
It's going really well and I've just noticed my first leek!
Who knew she was able to breed unicornias
Whos there? Patchew patch Pachew patch who? Arrgh! Ya shot me!
He said, I'll keep an eye out for it.
Eye Eye Captain
we call the defendant quilty"
With a Cabbage Patch
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Basic Birches
With a pumpkin patch! 🎃
An iPatch
Security Gourd
A Field Trip
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
Lettuce spray.
it takes a lot to offend me
With a pumpkin patch.
I've been told that I'm losing the plot.
He paints his toenails red.
Don't believe me? Well have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch??
She cut off ties to spite her man.
He buys an iPatch
He used the patch.
...we passed by a cemetery.
My wife says: "Look at all the gravestones! That cemetery is so crowded!"
Me: "Yeah, well people are just dying to get in there!"
I was focused on the road, but I could hear her eyes roll.
"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"
The steaks have never been higher.
I responded, "well it certainly isn't even."
Microsoft confirms that there's an issue with their most recent patch: it can corrupt Windows installations. A Microsoft developer by the name of Benedict [Last name withheld due to reddit rules] admitted that the code he wrote was faulty and could lead to corruption of some system files. However, Microsoft still recommends downloading the patch, since these cases are rare, and a tool that repairs affected installations will be available by tomorrow, and can easily be downloaded, since the faulty patch doesn't break any Internet features. Microsoft estimates that only 0.002% of Windows installations will be affected, and that on all other PCs, the patch does fix the bug it addresses. Although some sources on the net claim otherwise, Microsoft states that...
Benedict's Blunder Patch is low-key.
Stevie Plunder!
Because he had holes in him!!
To hide in strawberry patches.
What, don't get it? Come on, have YOU ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
No?
Then I guess those slippers are doing a pretty good job, huh?
Because they love to arrr-gue and never sea eye-to-eye(patch)
This week’s dumb joke:
My wife and I were out for a walk, and we walked through a cool patch of air right by a field.
“It’s weird how it’s always cooler right there,” she said.
“Yeah,” I said, “I guess it’s because the sun never shines here. I wonder if they get a lot of dumping in this field?”
“Huh? Why?”
A beat.
Two beats.
“Isn’t this where they stick everything?” I deadpanned.
She laughed. You don’t have to.
I'd be hard pressed to think of a better drink.
I was A-maize-d by how corny the corn maze was. Definitely not worth the $5.
It did have a lot in common with Dumbo though - it was all ears.
And it did creep me out a bit. Felt like I was being stalked the whole time.
A pumpkin patch
With a pumpkin patch!
With a pumpkin patch
You use a pumpkin patch.
