He becomes a skadouchebag
A portmanteau
"If I use enough gasoline it will."
She wanted to talk to the task manager.
A Heliolisp
Po-ems
Po - Ta - Toes
it is... po-ultry in motion
The cop told my dad to take a nap, my dad said "No" and the cop told him that he was "resisting a rest".
the Po-lice come
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
- See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
- I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
- He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
- Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
You gotta poke her face. Po-po-po-pokerface.
This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.
[drop mic]
My mom just told me the story. Apparently, my dad and my uncle went to get vasectomies together. They were picked up at the house by a limo. My mom, confused, asked why they ordered a limo to drive them to get their vasectomies, to which my dad responded, "If I'm going to be impotent, I want to look im-po'-tant."
I know this guy right? He went and filled up his tank with fuel at the servo. He didn't put the hose in properly so it click and the 91 fuel splashed back onto him. He didn't think anything of it and just let it dry and went and paid for it. He's a smoker and on the way home from the servo he lights one up and his arm catches on fire. Fuck man, he was freaking out! So he puts his arm out the window to put the fire out. Next thing you know, the po po pull out behind this bloke, lights and sirens blaring! He got pull over and was arrested for an unregistered fire arm
http://i.imgur.com/3foPoUt.gif
I admit I laughed
I was working the register (took a pity shift in the front end department) when I ran out of pennies. I paged my boss to come over and get me change.
Boss: Look, you have a penny on your POS, and I have one in my pocket here.
Me: That may not last very long, can I still get change?
Customer: C'mon man, cut the guy a break. He's just putting in his 2 cents on the situation.
His daughter groaned.
I asked if he could help me with some POs for items being returned to vendors.
He asked me to "hang on"
I immediately grabbed the door handle and the side of the door I was next too and said "like this?"
He rolled his eyes but I felt somewhat proud
Q: Who protects you from bad guys and doesn't work very hard?
A: Po-least-men!
a po' tato
My daughter (who's 8) is already working on her Dad jokes. Just got this text:
> Dada! In Star Wars C3-PO was caught red handed! > > C3PO's hand was red! > > Anddddd I bet that he was caught by the empire red handed and got his red hand!
Never been prouder.
I was on the john, and my wife was making me tea, and asked me if I wanted it on the throne, so I responded "No thanks, I don't want any po-TEA." Cue groans.
