You know what they say about overseas communication?

It almost completely happens underseas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Tragic news, a cargo ship carrying shoes from overseas ran into heavy weather and sank, only one man was rescued, he was found using shoes as a makeshift flotation device.

He was the sole survivor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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My son who lives overseas never answers my calls.

I think he can’t hear me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salatul-Maghrib
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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When Bruce Jenner said he wanted to retire abroad I thought he meant he’d be going overseas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cornskin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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After finishing college, I went to study overseas.

I have a Masters in Oceanography.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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Conversation I had with a friend overseas

Friend: what would happen if sheep and wolves got together and had babies?

me: oh, I bet they'd be so cute!

Friend: right? they'd be like wooly wolves

me: they'd be woolves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoquiero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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Dad got me with this one today ... my girlfriend is overseas

Dad: Anything new, seeing anyone? Did that girl get back in town yet? Me: Nope, just hanging out. She's still abroad. Dad: Well, she's always a broad!

Rather than groan, I then laughed disproportionately. I've become my father...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleuthysteve
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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At my last family gathering before I moved overseas...

....my grandfather was telling a story about how my sister used to sit on his right knee and my cousin would sit on his left knee. I then curiously asked "grandpa, where did I sit?" and he replied "Well of course adberq, you sat on my wee knee.".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adberq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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Two livestock farmers were sat in the pub arguing over the government’s upcoming ban on exporting live animals...

The beef cattle farmer thought it was a silly policy and would greatly reduce his income from selling meat overseas....

The pig farmer disagreed, he thought it was a great opportunity for livestock farmers to benefit from higher profit margins in a strong domestic market with fewer overheads.

Feeling very passionate after a few beers, the beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œThis time in 12 months, the government will have repealed this policy because it’s such a terrible idea... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and they don’t repeal it, I’ll give you my prized cow, Daisy. But if I’m right, and they do repeal it, you have to give me free bacon for a year”.

The pig farmer is confident that the policy will be a success and won’t be repealed. So he says β€œdeal”.

The beef farmer carries on:

β€œActually, I think this policy is going to be such a terrible failure that I’ll need to sell half of my cows to stay afloat... in fact, I’m willing to bet on it. If I’m wrong, and this policy doesn’t mean I need to sell half my cows, I’ll give you free steaks for a year. But if I’m right, and I do need to sell half my cows, you have to give me your prized boar, pumba”.

The pig farmer is confident that the beef farmer won’t need to sell any cows. So he says β€œdeal”.

12 months pass following the introduction of the live export ban. The government hasn’t repealed the policy, but unfortunately the beef farmer has had to sell most of his cows.

Both farmers reconvene at the pub. The beef farmer says to the pig farmer:

β€œWell, it seems you were right about one thing but wrong about the other...

So... You may have won the cattle, but you’ve lost the boar!”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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A lot of people think Waterworld flopped

But it was a big hit overseas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTAHole
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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Dad joked by a customer today

Customer: I'd like help setting up Skype so I can talk to my son.

Me: Oh, is he abroad?

Customer: No he's a man, he just lives overseas.

Me: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scam_radio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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Where were you while we were getting high?

So I was on the red-eye flying overseas to meet my buddies for an epic roadtrip adventure. I got me a first class ticket because YOLO and I always wanted to try those convertible seat/beds.

So in the morning the flight attendants serve breakfast, which includes this tasty soup with poached egg in it. They offered drinks and they had champagne so I thought why the hell not.

There were delays and when we finally landed and I got to our meet up place, my mates were already there and gotten the bong out.

They said, "Where were you while we were getting high?"

"I was having..." and I turned to them, took my sunglasses off, and said, "champagne, soup and ova in the sky."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaudette
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
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My dad likes to help cut up all of our cardboard boxes in the garage, and compactly pack them for recycling...

I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work. I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money. To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.

My dad's response: "I feel like I am being undercut"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ziggyfro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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Asked my dad what my cousin's wedding was like...

Cousin recently got married. I live overseas and wasn't able to go. Asked my dad what the wedding was like.

"It was a bit weird, to be honest. They kept going on about cheese."

/mother, who also attended wedding, looks at him like 'wtf'

"Cheesus of Nazareth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acover4422
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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He never misses an opportunity to dad joke me

My roommate's girlfriend is currently participating in a study abroad program in Seoul, SK. She had posted something to my Facebook wall and my dad asked me over the phone what she is doing overseas. I told him and he asked what she studies. I said international affairs and without skipping a beat he said "Ah, I see: Boyfriend here, boyfriend there..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goingnoles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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flatmate got me...

flatmate has returned from overseas, they were coughing in the kitchen while doing dishes...

I said "oh no you have ebola!"

flatmate "no I have E-Plate-a"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovableMisogynist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Boyfriend made me giggle with this one

We were talking about my semester overseas.

Me: I miss being abroad.

Boyfriend: Oh baby, you're still a broad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/indigotrees
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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Zebras

Was at dinner with my SO's parents tonight when the subject of exotic animal meat for consumption came up.

SO: I was hoping I could try Zebra while I was overseas last year but never got the chance.

SO's dad: yeah, I bet Zebra is chockfull of white meat, dark meat, white meat, dark meat, white meat....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefauxfinestfind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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Planes

My mom was telling a story about her trip overseas.

"So there was a guy on the plane"
"Wow, you guys must have had a lot of space."
...
God damnit, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hansmat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
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Just seized an opportunity...

My brother and friends are working on a truck when this happened:

Friend: what's that stuff you're putting on?

Brother: anti-seize

...

Me: we also have an uncle seize, but right now he's overseas.

There was a pause then some groans.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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