Whenever I joke about online shopping

I always make sure it's guaranteed delivery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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How does the pope do his online shopping?

He uses PAPAL

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cephon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
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Don't you just hate those annoying pop-up ads when you're shopping online for BBQ's?

"Hot meat grills in your area"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mka_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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I was shopping online last night for a new occasional table for the living room...

...My husband (a father of one) said, "No! I want it to be a table all the time!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeeCDN
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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I visited an online butcher shop today.

Google Meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I took a film photo of a cosplayer of Kirito from Sword Art Online, and took it to a photo shop to have it printed.

Finally, some character development!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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Why did the shopper stop in the middle of the road?

So she could do online shopping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananacurtain
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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I went to the computer shop and told them our family computer has an internal part that has stopped working

The shop assistant said, "Motherboard?"

I said, "Yeah, she can't do online shopping anymore"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I was looking at shoes online...

Husband: Is there a shoe sale?

Me: No, I'm just window shopping.

Husband: Isn't it online shopping, since there's no window?

Me: But I'm using Windows.

Did not get a laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msoc
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2015
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My dad got me pretty bad with this.

So one time there was this kid named Tim. Tim wanted to really wanted to go to the school prom with a girl named Janet. So one day, at school, he walked up to Janet and asked if she wanted to go.

She said yes!

So once she got home she told her mom. Her mom was very excited for her and called all of their family to share the news.

Then, that weekend, Janet and her mom went dress shopping. They looked and tried on several dresses until they found the right one. Janet tried that one on and was very happy.

Meanwhile, Tim needed a tuxedo. He looked online and found a great shop and put in an rental order.

The next week he came in and picked it up. On the way home he picked up a corsage. And once he got home, he ordered a limousine.

The day of Tim put on his tuxedo and grabbed the corsage just as the limo arrived to pick him up. Then the limo took him to Janet's house and her parents took a lot of pictures of the two of them.

Once their parents were finally done taking pictures, they left for the prom.

They bought their tickets and went inside and danced for a while.

And then, Janet asked Tim to get her something to drink. He went to find something, but there was no punch line!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rymike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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Real Line I Pulled on my Wife Today

Went grocery shopping, and bought some chicken leg quarters for the first time to use on a recipe I found online.

Wife said while she was putting the groceries away, β€œLeg quarters? You don’t know how to cook those,” to which I replied, β€œGuess I’ll just have to bake it to make it.”

I’ll see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jt8786
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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So this tailor goes to the bag maker with a problem...

That night somebody had broken into his shop and stolen a few very expensive suits, and he wanted the person responsible arrested.

He approached the counter, where the owner of the workshop stood.

 

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Emmy, how can I help you today?"

 

"Well, I have this problem, and I saw online that you could help me for cheap." he responded.

"My shop was robbed of some of my most expensive suits tonight, and I want your help catching the perpetrator."

 

"That's awful, but I am confused as to how I would be of assistance?" she said.

The tailor was silent for a second, noticeably confused.

Before he had a chance to respond she asked,

"What did you see on our website?"

 

"Well I didn't actually see it on your website, there was actually this ad that intrigued me. It had big bold letters and read:

For a limited time only, click the link to find the cheapest and best deals!!! Emmy's Suit cases - Now 50% off!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sai1r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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