Sister in law was holding my baby but was talking about her onesie. β€œIs this a newborn”?

Of course it is, Kayleigh. She was born two days ago!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KINGWeeeWeeee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My daughter peed all over her baby owl onesie.

Now she's covered in moist owlettes.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eshunter1128
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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Bedtime for newborn

My wife was changing our 7-week-old’s clothes before bed and she picked up a footless sleeper onesie.

Wife: β€œWho bought this for us? I don’t even know why they make them like this.” Me: β€œYeah, and I can’t believe they could even find one in the stores. That’s no small feet!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kangaroo_Quart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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What mistake do pyjamas make when they spell the word "Pizza"?

They only put one "Z" (onesie)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pretty_Sick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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She needed to prepare for trouble, make that double!

Today a student of mine was wearing a Pikachu onesie for pajama day at work (a junior in h.s.).our conversation went like this. If she wasn't in anime club with me I would have left her alone.

Me: did your wear that so guys would want to take a peek-at-chu?

Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, please stop

Me: why? You scared they won't choose you?

Student : I'm going to stop talking to you now

Me: don't be such an Ash

Student : Mrs. Acinomismonica, you need to stop!

Me: c'mon student, you gotta Ketchum to my jokes

Enter the rest of my class groaning, it was a good day. Good thing I stopped before they threw Brocks at me.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acinomismonica
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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My girlfriend was shopping for baby clothes

She shows me a onesie with aeroplanes all over it.

'What do you think about this one'

'Eh i think it's a bit plane'

'Why is it...' cue eyeroll and groan

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooseybolton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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Manager dad joked me

So im headed to the back talking to my manager telling him about a transaction im doing with a customer Me: Hey boss, so this lady is looking for a 4 year old camp jacket for boys and a 6-12 month onesie for boys Manager: Well sorry man, all our stuff here is new, we have nothing from 4 years ago.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhlowJ
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
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My wife and I have a nephew on the way and we're discussing Christmas gifts

Her: They got us a really nice gift when I was pregnant so I want to get them something nice.

Me: What did they get you?

Her: It was a really cute 5-piece onesie set.

Me: You mean a five-sie?

She got tired of me giggling about it and left the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/attic_raptors
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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