Olympic Puns

I'm Putin this out there for those of you who want a certain country to Finnish with a gold medal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gale_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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Anyone know of any good Olympic puns? reddit.com/r/specificpuns…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_LEWIS_IS_ALL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2012
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During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.

I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"

He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My nose should join the olympics

It' really good at running

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Lynn's nurse at the vaccination centre recently qualified for a sport in the Tokyo Olympics. What sport is it?

Javelin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shreya_shree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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A person was arrested at the special Olympics.

The person was unarmed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Did you know that ancient Greeks would shave their heads before the Olympics to run faster?

Modern historians call it balderdash.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Why did the cannibal go to the Olympics?

He wanted fast food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirty_boris
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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I'm getting bored of hearing these Olympic athletes say .. 'how much work they've put in and the sacrifices they've made.'

What do they want a medal?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Craig David has volunteered to help out at the next Olympics, he has been assigned to Archery...

He said β€œHe’s delighted to be the bo selecta”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?

Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...

It was a good aluminum foil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Is plate throwing a really an Olympic sport?

Discuss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boris_Donut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Certain Olympic events should be thrown out

Discuss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Did you hear about the naked toddler competing in the Olympics' 100m dash?

He was running a little behind.

(I believe this to be original; but I wasn't willing to risk searching for the key terms required to determine if someone else came up with it... apologies if I'm repeating a long ago joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aguynamedbry
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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If lazyness was an olympic sport, I would come fourth.

I woudn't want to climb up the podium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoggenstein123
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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If self-deprecation was an Olympic Sport

I'd probably just about scrape bronze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falseoptimism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.

So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Watching the Olympics with my Wife

She asked about the girl on screen getting ready for her routine: "Is she Russian?"

To which I replied : "No she's taking her time"

The eye roll was fantastic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrono32123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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Did you hear about this winter Olympic's sled rider with gigantism?

He's this season's biggest luger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prince_ossin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Do you know where the first Winter Olympics were held?

In the snow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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If pessimism was a Olympic sport.....

I would still not win it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing. They fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueMeanie03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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I like how they light the Olympic torch near Athens, then it stays lit all the way to the opening ceremony.

I guess it's hard to put out a Greece fire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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What kind of phone does an Olympic Gymnast use?

A flip phone!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What do Russian Olympic medal winners prove to the world?

That there was Russian medaling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Why did the Olympic athlete throw his reading assignment away?

His professor asked him to discus it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StanggTwin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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I have a favourite olympic sport. Discus.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/digdilem
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Why did the bear photographer get disqualified from the Olympics ?

He took Polarorids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I'm not saying China was doping during the Summer Olympics

But when they take the gold, silver, and bronze it raises a lot of red flags.

~credit to Steve, a real person.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebignate08
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Qatar has been announced as the hosts for the Olympics 581 years from now.

It’ll be known as the Qatari 2600

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Proudie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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Which olympic sport generates the most conversation?

Discus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angelking14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Did you hear about the cheese that lost at the Olympics?

It fell over on the final curdle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAmazingPikachu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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My knifes didn't get on the team for the Olympics.

I guess they just didn't make the cut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bkk443
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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What's in the middle of the Olympic sprinter's hyphenated last name?

a 100 meter dash.

Edit: Previously I had "60 meter dash". Turns out that was indoor sprinting and not Olympics. Fixed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomotho
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
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Did you know the 1936 Berlin Olympics had the 100m sprint as the only running event?

Hitler only wanted one race in Berlin

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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Freestyle rap is being added as an event at the Special Olympics

It's a great way to showcase people with dis abilities.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cactuar32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
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If procrastination was an Olympic sport,

I would participate in the next one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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There was some controversy in the sports world this week, when they allowed some athletes to try out for the Olympic gymnastics team more than once

I thought it was just revaulting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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My friend text me that he got a new job testing athlete for doping in the next olympics. I think he’s just taking the piss.....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feckthis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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The dedication of Olympic gymnasts amazes me.

They really bend over backwards for their country.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/purrhams_hat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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There should be a movie about a Jamaican curling team that competes in the Olympics.

Call it Curl Runnings

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1esserknown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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If a Russian athlete wins in a Pyeongchang event, does that mean they're Medaling with the Olympics?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/49RedBulls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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Another not-so-hot Olympic dad joke

Watching beach volleyball the other day.

Announcer: It's raining and chilly. Me: No, not Chile, Brazil.

Then I had to wait hours for my husband to come home so I could repeat it, because my toddler is too young to get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hatgirlstargazer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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If laziness was an Olympic sport,

I would probably come in fourth, so that I don’t have to walk to the podium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
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The Olympics have helped me channel my inner dad...

(You're entering the conversation when it really matters)

Me: Oh nice, so did you spend time watching the Olympics?

Friend: No, I don't really watch the olympics that much actually.

Me: Same here...I only watch it every four years...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jay_el_ess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Cause you can only get bronze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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