Olympic Puns

I'm Putin this out there for those of you who want a certain country to Finnish with a gold medal.

I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"

He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

It' really good at running

Javelin

Modern historians call it balderdash.

He wanted fast food

What do they want a medal?

He said “He’s delighted to be the bo selecta”

Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.

It was a good aluminum foil

Discuss

Discuss

He was running a little behind.

(I believe this to be original; but I wasn't willing to risk searching for the key terms required to determine if someone else came up with it... apologies if I'm repeating a long ago joke)

Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

I woudn't want to climb up the podium

I'd probably just about scrape bronze

So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.

She asked about the girl on screen getting ready for her routine: "Is she Russian?"

To which I replied : "No she's taking her time"

The eye roll was fantastic.

He's this season's biggest luger

In the snow.

I would still not win it.

Nothing. They fast.

I guess it's hard to put out a Greece fire.

A flip phone!

That there was Russian medaling.

His professor asked him to discus it.

He took Polarorids

But when they take the gold, silver, and bronze it raises a lot of red flags.

~credit to Steve, a real person.

It’ll be known as the Qatari 2600

Discus

It fell over on the final curdle.

I guess they just didn't make the cut.

a 100 meter dash.

Edit: Previously I had "60 meter dash". Turns out that was indoor sprinting and not Olympics. Fixed.

Hitler only wanted one race in Berlin

I would participate in the next one.

I thought it was just revaulting

They really bend over backwards for their country.

Call it Curl Runnings

Watching beach volleyball the other day.

Announcer: It's raining and chilly. Me: No, not Chile, Brazil.

Then I had to wait hours for my husband to come home so I could repeat it, because my toddler is too young to get it.

I would probably come in fourth, so that I don’t have to walk to the podium.

(You're entering the conversation when it really matters)

Me: Oh nice, so did you spend time watching the Olympics?

Friend: No, I don't really watch the olympics that much actually.

Me: Same here...I only watch it every four years...

Cause you can only get bronze.