What's the difference between Jamie Oliver and Elon Musk?

They have different names.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeverGing3r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Why did Jamie Oliver become a cook?

He has four ingredients hidden in his name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexaler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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John Oliver's "Air Bud 9" pun made me laugh really hard this week
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HashtagComic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
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So I tried to make one of Jamie Oliver's 30 minute meals.

But I ran out of thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonsteRazor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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What is the last name of the actor who played Oliver Wood?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatb4ll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
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Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist?

"Please, can I have somasa."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BicuspidOrange
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
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What does Oliver Queen call his private jet?

The Arrowplane

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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What did Oliver Twist say while playing Settlers of Catan?

Please, sir, can I have some ore?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FA1R_ENOUGH
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Oliver was in danger...

A dad with his last son Oliver were in danger

Dad told Oliver to hide and then he told him

"I'll pick you up when it's oliver"

.

.

.

I'm actually sorry for that pun

I know it was terrible

I'll see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murlockerLOL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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Today I bought extra virgin olive oil

After I used it it was just olive oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthiopianBrotha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?

Attempted Hummus-ide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?

Really ugly olives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire

He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bacononwaffles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Olive Garden has a new program where you can order an entree to be delivered to a friend.

It’s called Send Noodz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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How many olives grow on a tree?

all-of them

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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We olive get out of here!
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I went on a date, and all she kept talking about for three hours was olive oil

I’m thinking extra virgin

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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Why don’t we ever have olives in our fridge?

Because I always eat olive them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LookAtMeImAName
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.

Me: Olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lastwords87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Olive Garden kid’s cups
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHaveAThiccccCat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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My son asked why so many people liked black olives...

I replied, β€œyou should ask olive them.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdaChinz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives..

I'm not ever buying any more baby oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My wife told me, "You're a better husband than I'll ever be."

I responded, "Who the hell is Oliver B.??"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeinator21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Thought I would toss this one in
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?

Olive. You've heard the song. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.

"What was the other reindeer's name?"

"Um, Dasher?"

No."

"Dancer?"

"No. Olive."

"Olive?"

"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."

I was very proud.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Why was Popeye first attracted to Olive Oyl?

He heard she was extra virgin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Looks like they spilled Olive it...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lompx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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My transformation is almost complete

So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)

Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"

My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"

...Pls send help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperpuma
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Long, stupid Dad joke

The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Addama33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Why did Popeye write to the Italian food company Bertolli, thanking them for everything they’d done?

They made olive oil spread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tango91
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?

After getting dating advice from a Redditor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Two olives are sitting at a bar

Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says "Ahhh are you ok?" And the one that fell is like "Yeah, olive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Olive oil

My uncle Arnie asked me if I knew where extra virgin olive oil came from. I said no and he said very ugly trees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TY2VETS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Why did the french chef committed suicide??

He lost his huile d'olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yuri-123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Domino’s fucked up, but we still ate olive it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tippopotamus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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When ordering dinner, my wife asked for no olives...

Waiter: Ok, we'll leave olive 'em off for you!

He thanked us for laughing, as he said he "usually just gets groans"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brewvarlet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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Great Expectations

When you write about about a kid in the 1900s with Great Expectations, it’s a real Oliver Twist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sniperso
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I gave valuable customer feedback to an Olive Garden in exchange for a gift card

In return I received a pasta dish.

For the first time in my life, I actually received a Penne for my thoughts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muncie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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A waitress asked me: β€œSoup or salad?”

I said just a regular salad would be fine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ayahuascafarts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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[Be sure to say this out loud while reading] Two olives are sitting on a branch

One falls off, the one still on the branch asked β€œare you OK?”

The one the ground said β€œI’ll live”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaturallyFrank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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I dropped a can of olives and my wife was concerned, so I replied...

"Don't worry, I didn't spill olive them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technically_art
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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Olive Bar Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpenSourcePro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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How does olive oil lose its virginity?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eXieBoiiTV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Tiny biscuit pizzas and my kid...

My 8yo daughter and I were adding ingredients to the biscuit pizzas before putting in them in the oven. I told her to...

Me: put black olives on em.

Her: dad?....

Me: yes

Her: on Olive them?

I was was so proud 🀣

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What did the green olive say to the purple olive?

BREATHE, GODDAMMIT, BREATHE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogers_philippe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
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"I'll be Rudolph!" "I'll be Olive!" "Huh?"

"You know, Olive? The other reindeer? She used to laugh and call him names."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostButNotQuit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Olive oil and I have one thing in common

We are both extra virgin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CAP815
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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Why don’t olives die?

Because they olive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hunted9342
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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How many olives grow on a tree?

Olive them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden_Pwny_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Why did the French chef want to kill himself?

He lost the huile d'olive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skepticCanary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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