What does a couch say to another couch at the other side od the room?

We are sofa apart!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_i_k_i
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Got my wife with this gem...

http://imgur.com/OdIv0uU

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2016
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If a person smokes too much meth and goes on a killing spree because of it...

...there would be a meth-od behind his madness.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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What is God's favorite guitar chord?

G-Sus

These guys get it. :) https://imgur.com/a/xskOd

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patatbeerho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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My dad just dadjoked my best friend on facebook.

So my best friend put up a picture on facebook of a flat tire he just got, and well my dad just could not resist the opportunity

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tactical_Nick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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I'm still giggling at this one!

http://i.imgur.com/TlmOdWo.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moshtopus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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Inmate uses last words to dadjoke executioners

http://crime.about.com/od/history/qt/lastwords_appel.htm

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhjohnston007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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Daughter Dad-Joked my Wife

Last night, my oldest daughter (OD), wife (W), and youngest daughter (YD) were discussing some reading homework.

YD: They were similar because they both had injuries that turned them into outcasts. W: That's horrible! Who writes these sad books? OD (looks at cover of book): Justen Denzel wrote this one. Me: Your training is now complete my child.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beersn0b
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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Got my wife with this classic gem...

http://imgur.com/OdIv0uU

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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