The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.
When do we want them? Nyoow
But, I had to turn it down.
His voice is a little horse now.
Broom! Broom!
Mechanic: sounds like a flat
Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me
I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess thatβs the after effect for using dating apps, who knew
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.
Nyow!
Because a coo sticks.
-What do we want?! -Airplane noises!! -When do we want them?! -nnnnneeeeeeoooooooooooowwwww
The other replied, βTiiiiimmmber!β
Only Fans
"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"
In fact they cannot stand at all.
Their P was silent.
flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
And call it ASsMR
It Hertz my ears.
Pizza patter pizza patter
When do we want them!
Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww
Edit: (lol first post and of course this joke has been said before)
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
βYou rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!β
She said "Sure, what volume ?"
βWhat do we want?β
βAIRPLANE NOISES!β
βAnd when do we want them?β
βNYEOOW!β
Neeeeeeow.
NYYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
When do we want it
Neeeooooooow
Neeeeeeooooooowwwwww
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
