NOiSE Puns

The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"

When do we want them? Nyoow

His voice is a little horse now.

Broom! Broom!

But, I had to turn it down.

Mechanic: sounds like a flat

Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me

I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess that’s the after effect for using dating apps, who knew

I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.

They're ear-ritating.

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

Nyow!

The other replied, “Tiiiiimmmber!”

-What do we want?! -Airplane noises!! -When do we want them?! -nnnnneeeeeeoooooooooooowwwww

Because a coo sticks.

"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"

In fact they cannot stand at all.

Their P was silent.

flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

And call it ASsMR

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

It Hertz my ears.

Pizza patter pizza patter

When do we want them!

Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww

Edit: (lol first post and of course this joke has been said before)

It was ribbiting.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

Wii u Wii u Wii u

Nnnnneeeeeeeeooooooowwwwww

“What do we want?”

“AIRPLANE NOISES!”

“And when do we want them?”

“NYEOOW!”

Neeeeeeow.

NYYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

When do we want it

Neeeooooooow

Neeeeeeooooooowwwwww

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."