I asked a librarian if they had any books on 'Different noise levels'.

The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"

πŸ‘︎ 671
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
*happy feminist noise*
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AyUsHmAtHuR007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises

When do we want them? Nyoow

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who couldn’t stop making pony noises?

His voice is a little horse now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a street sweeper make?

Broom! Broom!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ickyfeet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just been offered as a job a Noise Pollution officer .

But, I had to turn it down.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I took my car to the shop today because my tire was making a whistling noise

Mechanic: sounds like a flat

Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dexter992
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
*sad cat fishing noises*

I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess that’s the after effect for using dating apps, who knew

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
*sad Ted noises*
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.

I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_SWEET
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Loud noises.

They're ear-ritating.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
*sad mario noises*
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"

I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."

My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.

EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trich101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
*Sad Red Blood Cell Noises*
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ananay83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Car noises! When do we want them?

Nyow!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, β€œWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”

The other replied, β€œTiiiiimmmber!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Airplane noises

-What do we want?! -Airplane noises!! -When do we want them?! -nnnnneeeeeeoooooooooooowwwww

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VaterJake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't pigeon noises echo?

Because a coo sticks.

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scamperly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son came home to find me slumped over the lawn mower crying my eyes out. He shouted over the noise, "You ok, pop?!" I shouted back...

"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Whales can’t stand loud noises.

In fact they cannot stand at all.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoav-bam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Pterodactyls evolved a way to urinate without making any noise.

Their P was silent.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a bird make when he jacks off?

flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gracewaring
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Noise-Cancelling Headphones
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGhost1
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
*buzzing noises*
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hungrygremlin69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJVpower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Make some noise for fake shit
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna make a compilation of soothing farting noises

And call it ASsMR

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Y_M_N_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 365
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t stand high frequency noises.

It Hertz my ears.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Sad Mario noises.
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duckyman0203
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What noise does Italian rain make?

Pizza patter pizza patter

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sam_293
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want! Low flying aircraft noises!

When do we want them!

Nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww

Edit: (lol first post and of course this joke has been said before)

πŸ‘︎ 224
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched a documentary about the noises frogs make

It was ribbiting.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

β€œYou rotten bastard," says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What noise does a nintendo police make?

Wii u Wii u Wii u

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rebelliouskitten
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Airplane diving noises! When do we want them?

Nnnnneeeeeeeeooooooowwwwww

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duckbeachdog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
*airplane noises intensify*

β€œWhat do we want?”

β€œAIRPLANE NOISES!”

β€œAnd when do we want them?”

β€œNYEOOW!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying aeroplane noises. When do we want them?

Neeeeeeow.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them?

NYYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whymustudodat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises

When do we want it

Neeeooooooow

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hamburgler007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
WHAT DO WE WANT??! RACE CAR NOISES!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?!!

Neeeeeeooooooowwwwww

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adamj91
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wehavechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

πŸ‘︎ 250
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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