44 Hilarious Noah Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?

In the Ark Hives.

👍︎ 13k

💬︎

👤︎ u/JP-Seven

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

🚨︎ report

My dad asked me yesterday "Noah, am I a good dad"

I responded with "My name's Ron"

👍︎ 15

💬︎

👤︎ u/ImPickleRickFunny

📅︎ Jan 13 2021

🚨︎ report

Why haven’t they found Noah’s Ark?

Because it’s Noah to be found.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed

📅︎ Jan 03 2021

🚨︎ report

How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?

State-of-the-Ark technology

👍︎ 33

💬︎

👤︎ u/Amart1985

📅︎ Dec 04 2020

🚨︎ report

Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: “Noah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.

“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”

“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”

“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

👍︎ 14

💬︎

👤︎ u/Dongwaffler

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah store his Bees?

In his Archives!

👍︎ 19

💬︎

👤︎ u/SpiritvsRobot

📅︎ Jun 07 2020

🚨︎ report

Some years after the flood, Noah wanted to sail again

Unfortunately, he didn't remember where he arked.

👍︎ 42

💬︎

👤︎ u/ewormPL

📅︎ Jun 04 2020

🚨︎ report

If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

👍︎ 14

💬︎

👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Mar 25 2020

🚨︎ report

What do you name a show about a wise guy named Noah?

Noah knows

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/TheGoldenGamer2005

📅︎ Mar 06 2020

🚨︎ report

"Arkham" is not only a prison. It's also what Noah made out of the pigs.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/MinFootspace

📅︎ Dec 21 2019

🚨︎ report

This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.

👍︎ 29

💬︎

👤︎ u/Livmativ

📅︎ Jul 17 2019

🚨︎ report

Noah, why Noah, why!

👍︎ 8

💬︎

👤︎ u/shawntheloser

📅︎ Aug 19 2019

🚨︎ report

Wife: Honey where is our son Noah?

Me: (holding Noah) I have Noah dear!

Wife: Oh my God where is he! We have to find him!

👍︎ 16

💬︎

👤︎ u/Tarrigo77

📅︎ Oct 14 2019

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep his records?

The arc hives

👍︎ 24

💬︎

👤︎ u/roadhouse6735

📅︎ Jul 26 2019

🚨︎ report

Ever wonder how Noah survive the flood?

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/RorschachEmpire

📅︎ Mar 27 2019

🚨︎ report

If you need an ark, just hit me up cuz I Noah guy.

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/christmasbush

📅︎ Mar 29 2019

🚨︎ report

Noah’s Arc

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/afsana3436

📅︎ May 17 2019

🚨︎ report

God said to Noah that there was a dinosaur on the ark and Noah replied only with No-ah there isn’t ~joke from when I was 5

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/HuntrixMata

📅︎ Jan 25 2019

🚨︎ report

If you want to know how many bees Noah had on board.....

....you have to check the Ark hives.

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/cwwspurs

📅︎ Jun 27 2019

🚨︎ report

Noah had backup plans.

👍︎ 246

💬︎

👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Apr 29 2018

🚨︎ report

As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.

So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”

The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

👍︎ 16

💬︎

👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Apr 28 2019

🚨︎ report

Why did the 2 worms get out of the apple before boarding Noah's Ark?

Because they had to go in pears.

👍︎ 31

💬︎

👤︎ u/2donutkid2

📅︎ Feb 06 2019

🚨︎ report

I think Noah's Ark should have had a barrier around it to keep out the Mexicans.

Noah fence.

👍︎ 6

💬︎

👤︎ u/teuast

📅︎ Apr 20 2018

🚨︎ report

What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

Floodlights and ark lights.

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/DoctorScherzando

📅︎ Apr 09 2019

🚨︎ report

Not many people know Noah was amazing at archery

You should have seen his arc!

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/NegativePrimitive

📅︎ Jul 08 2018

🚨︎ report

Noah’s story arc is pretty great.

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/VaiterZen

📅︎ Feb 17 2019

🚨︎ report

Why doesn’t Noah play Pokémon?

Because he already caught them all.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/illusive_guy

📅︎ Oct 31 2018

🚨︎ report

The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...

...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.

Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.

"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"

"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."

👍︎ 23

💬︎

👤︎ u/bittibitti

📅︎ Feb 01 2018

🚨︎ report

Need an ark? I Noah guy

Need a government administration for the ocean and atmosphere? I NOAA guy.

👍︎ 18

💬︎

👤︎ u/tsz3290

📅︎ Aug 07 2017

🚨︎ report

Does anyone need an Ark? I might Noah guy who has one

...

👍︎ 51

💬︎

👤︎ u/boogermanus

📅︎ Apr 18 2014

🚨︎ report

Why didn't noah do much fishing?

He only had 2 worms.

👍︎ 177

💬︎

👤︎ u/Frompadomp

📅︎ Sep 04 2013

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark Hives.

👍︎ 132

💬︎

👤︎ u/BethJ2018

📅︎ Nov 16 2020

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep his bees ?

In the Ark hives

👍︎ 33

💬︎

👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Aug 31 2020

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep a record of his bees?

In the ark hives

👍︎ 300

💬︎

👤︎ u/RayInRed

📅︎ May 07 2020

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah put the bees?

In the Ark hives.

👍︎ 96

💬︎

👤︎ u/phillydog1

📅︎ Nov 15 2019

🚨︎ report

Does any one Noah guy who can build me an ark

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/PilotDave3

📅︎ Oct 30 2019

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark hives.

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/thebongreaper666

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

🚨︎ report

Where does Noah keep his bees?

In his Ark Hives!

👍︎ 64

💬︎

👤︎ u/enderval

📅︎ Nov 18 2018

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep the bees

In the ark hives.

👍︎ 858

💬︎

👤︎ u/OthelolzNZ

📅︎ Mar 17 2016

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark hives

👍︎ 84

💬︎

👤︎ u/beeman1979

📅︎ Oct 07 2018

🚨︎ report

Why did the two worms have to leave their apple to get into Noah's ark?

Because they could only go in pears

👍︎ 32

💬︎

👤︎ u/unclerudy

📅︎ Feb 08 2019

🚨︎ report

What kind of lights did Noah use on his Ark?

Floodlights

👍︎ 238

💬︎

👤︎ u/Theatreofmemes

📅︎ Oct 08 2017

🚨︎ report

What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark?

Flood lights.

👍︎ 53

💬︎

👤︎ u/cymyk

📅︎ Nov 19 2017

🚨︎ report

Where did Noah store the bees?

The Ark Hives.

👍︎ 364

💬︎

👤︎ u/xanarax

📅︎ Mar 27 2015

🚨︎ report