I have a dog who constantly nips at my feet.

It’s ok though. He’s a good healer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Cheese nips (x-post /r/StuffOnCats)
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?

One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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What do you call it when a guy tries to sneak peeks at a girl's cleavage?

Cleavesdropping.

Shoutout to my wife for dropping this one on me.

Edit: About 6 people have responded with "peek a boob" already. I applaud the effort, but to me that would be better nickname for nip slips.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marco262
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2016
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My wife is gonna make a great dad someday.

So my wife and I are house/petsitting for some friends of ours. They have two cats, and a ten month old German Shepard. Being ten months old, the puppy is still a little rowdy. Tonite, after we took him for a walk, we let him kind of hang out in the house.

He still wanted to play, and jammed his elephant toy in my wife's face as she sat on the couch crocheting. She pulled back and he jammed it into her chest, then released and bit down to get a better grip on the toy.

In doing so he just clipped my wife's ahem nipple. She immediately pushed the dog away and grabbed the affected area. I stood up to help, somehow, and asked her if she was okay.

She looked me straight in the eye and said "Yeah, it's just a little nip." I couldn't be more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alfrohawk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
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My breastfeeding son is like a drunk

He needs a little nip to get to sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Digmana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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Nan still doesn't know.

Nan: I need to nip out later to grab some velcro

Me: I'd buy online if I were you. Velcro is a right rip off...

Nan: No, it's quite reasonably priced I think.

Smiled slightly and left it at that. Two weeks on and she still has no idea!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/29DavesLater
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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An elephant was drinking out of a river one day

when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

"What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory" commented the giraffe.

"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_-reddit-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
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my uncle's DJ on fall nights in AZ

uncle: it's another chinese night

me: chinese night? what do you mean?

uncle: there is a little nip in the air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomsk404
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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My dad loves Christmas carols.

Every year on Christmas we'll have Nat King Cole playing through the house and eventually "The Christmas Song" comes on. Without fail, Dad belts...

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nosing at your nips."

Every year.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PerkinsKebab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2013
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My dad at the grocery store

So my mom, my dad, and I were at the grocery store for snacks to take back to school with me. My mom goes to grab a box of Cheese-Nips, and I told her that I would rather have Cheese-Its instead. Then my dad looks over at me and casually asks me, "What's the matter, son? You don't like nips?"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ao17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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