After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?

Tiiimmmmmmbbeeerrrrrrr-ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obrocheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I had a horrible nightmare about earthquakes last night

I woke up trembling

πŸ‘︎ 289
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I told me therapist, β€œLast night, I had a nightmare that I was fighting Jason Bourne and Will Hunting at the same time.”

Therapist: I’m glad that you are finally battling your Damons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."

The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I had a terrifying experience with my therapist after trying to get over of my reoccurring nightmares with the Backstreet Boys. Me: I'm terrified of the Backstreet Boys

Therapist: Tell me why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigaylowry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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I had a horrible nightmare that my Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime service all got interrupted. .

Thank goodness it was only a bad stream

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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My kid had a nightmare about monsters and threw the linen off his bed.

He was scared sheetless.

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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What is a pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest and no booty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anaxtogrind
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...

It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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I had a terrible nightmare in which I was forced to eat my own clone.

I almost shat myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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What did the inventor of the walkie-talkie call a nightmare?

A screamie dreamie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuccSucc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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I had a nightmare about sheep jumping over a fence.

It was pretty baa'd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obsidianhoax
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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A Nightmare Before Christmas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shalocko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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Last night I had nightmares that I was a monster truck.

I woke up super tired and overly exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leparr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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I had a nightmare that I went completely bald.

Woke up relieved. It was all in my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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A dad replied to a comment on a /r/AskReddit thread titled "Customers of restaurants that's appeared on Gordon Ramsey's kitchen nightmares, what was the food actually like before and after the show helped the resturant?"

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4stjtt/customers_of_restaurants_thats_appeared_on_gordon/d5c5il9?context=1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimothy_Chives
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2016
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My dad on my mom's nightmare

My mom had a nightmare where a chair chases her. My dad upon hearing it said, "it must have been pretty fast, it does have four legs"

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Only_Abe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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Girlfriend dadjoked me while watching kitchen nightmares...

An episode about a struggling African restaurant, the owner says "I'm not in denial!" And my girlfriend looks at me and says "of course your not ,you're nowhere near africa"

She's still laughing about it..,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bs1252
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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Being stuck at home during lockdown, I keep having these nightmares that my house is made of celery.

Doctors are calling it the stalk home syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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I had a nightmare that I was a muffler last night

I woke up exhausted

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I had a recurring nightmare that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Tom Ripley, but now I’m ok.

I finally battled my Damons.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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My son had a nightmare, and threw the linens off his bed.

He was scared sheetless.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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What's a pirate's worst nightmare?

A sunken chest with no booty.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISe7eNI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
🚨︎ report

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