Night game Puns

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he’s all right.

He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

They are dirty cheetahs, and if they deny they are, they are lion

Icy Dead People

I'm hooked, I just can't get off of it.

Finally we settled on Catan.

He looks pretty chill to me

"Juan we won one, Juan!"

Me: Go ahead and draw seven cards.

Dad: Okay, can you give me a pencil?

Me: What for?

Dad: To draw seven cards.

He was a spec-tater.

"And don't call me Buttdaddy! It's disrespectful!" I reply.

... and I gotta say that last play was the icing on the cake

The opening period was almost over, the crowd was quiet as there wasn't much action going on and suddenly I hear a lone dad behind me ask loudly to the crowd, 'How many minutes are remaining in the period?' In perfect timing the arena announcer then exclaims over the loudspeaker, 'There is one minute remaining in the period. One minute.' I smirked and the dad was the only one who laughed.

I was sitting in some beautiful seats, just past third base down on ground level. A good spot for some foul balls.

After several whiffs, one finally gets close enough to my father, which he promptly takes in the ribs instead of catching, and like before, the bat boy runs by to pick up the ball - only this time he doesn't throw it back into the crowd. Makes our whole section upset (that, and all the beer we were drinking) so he gets booed every time he walks by now.

The dad joke, however, comes from the guy behind me.

"That kid better watch out...I'm gonna talk to his dad. Batman!"

We were playing a popular table top naval warfare game, and my son proclaimed his next shot, "I-1!"

His little brother, who was already slightly behind, burst into tears, yelling, "What? You can't do that! Mom that's not fair."

It took us all a few seconds to figure out why he was so upset.

...I keep hearing him scream...Oberyn Oberyn over again...

So we went to the Wild's preseason game against the Blues last night and there was a blues player who fell down after blocking a shot with his inner thigh. It reminded me of this goal (http://www.reddit.com/tb/2i8prv) I saw on r/hockey yesterday that JvR scored off his weiner, and told my dad about it.

His response: That's nuts! Good thing it wasn't in their own goal, that would've been a dick move.

So after the game we took the elevator to get out of the stadium. They have an Elevator attendant who has their own personal tv to watch the game. I said this to my dad.

Me- That would be a great job to have.

My Dad- the job has its ups and downs.

GF "Well we met in Marching Band" Dad "Well you know what that means? Your kids are gonna be horny!"

"The picked off Cardinal base runner was in the Wong place at the Wong time."