And I know most of you here can do better than my,
While stiff arming their face, "I don't wanna seeeeee yo food."
Do you get it? Do ya, cause it's about turning the joke back... You get it right?
Anyway, help a guy increase his dadjoke street cred with his kiddo and his lunchroom hecklers.
Because they don't have pockets.
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
He now knows the taste of defeet
I had a thought. I wondered if vegetarians had the same effect, while mowing their lawn.
He was a dumb bass
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
She said, "Not neccecelery."
He ate his food before it was cool
They're mouthbreathers.
Daughter: Dad, it's really STUPID out there today. You'd better take your dumbrella.
Me: I've never been more proud.
It was a below-knee sandwich.
They gargoyle
Tulips
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
A tongue depressor.
Breathe, damn it! Breathe!
Because they don't have pockets.
...and says, "Hygiene".
He gave me knightmares.
AITA?
‘Because we don’t need depth perception with our mouths ‘ was his technically correct answer
The eyes they dilate
A waist of time.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
Then it becomes a soap opera
A soap opera
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
He ate pizza before it was cool
Now when I talk I have this weird Axe Scent
He ate the pizza before it was cool
