Dios Mio
Who's Dio and what about his Mio?
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Dios Mios!
Son: Don't say the lord's name in vain!
Dad: I'm not saying it in vain... I'm saying it in Spanish!
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︎ Aug 30 2015
The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Big funny haha
π︎ 4k
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︎ Sep 09 2019
The butcher kept getting my order wrong. He gave me a porterhouse instead of a filet mignon!
He said it was a mis-steak.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
What did the cat say when he arrived in China?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
I was having an argument about construction with someone on reddit.
He said he never had any issues with mis-calculations during construction on houses and I said that's impossible.
I told him in response about a time I put a post in the ground at a bad angle and had to take it out and put it back in correctly.
He got mad at me because he had heard the same exact story on r/construction
I guess you could call it a repost
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I asked the guy at the meat counter for a couple of t-bones, but he gave me some sirloins instead.
He later apologized for his mis-steak.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
A really want a Vietnamese roll.
But they Bahn Mi from going outside.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
What did the cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, me!"
^((for the non-dads: that's) ^("hallou mi"))
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︎ Mar 15 2020
What do you call a sandwich that's eaten while driving on a highway?
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Ms. Richie: Hey, remind me what comes after Do and Re on the musical scale?
Lionel: Hello, is it Mi you are looking for?
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︎ May 26 2020
The cheese looked into the mirror and said...
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︎ May 09 2020
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 15 2020
Do you know why Egyptians are so sad?
Because they live in misery (Ω
Ψ΅Ψ±Ω)
Note for the non Arabic speakers:
Egypt = miSr (Ω
Ψ΅Ψ±)
Egyptian = miSrii (Ω
Ψ΅Ψ±Ω)
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︎ Nov 17 2019
What do you call a lady cow
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︎ Oct 29 2019
Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
It was feeling mis-thunder-stood
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︎ Jan 21 2020
What do you call it when a horse does something bad?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 02 2020
Where do pigs love to go on vacation?
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 24 2019
What does an older gentleman and not mixing your food enough have in common
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Pun Help: need funny saying for graduation cap
Iβm graduating with my Masters in MIS (Management Information Systems) and am seeking suggestions for punny graduation cap mottos or sayings that I could use related to my MIS Degree. Thanks!!
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︎ Apr 13 2019
I can easily buy a Xiaomi phone in Asia
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 22 2019
I bought some new luggage
Let me know if you want to borrow it. You know what they say: Mi Casa Suitcasa
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︎ Oct 10 2019
Whatβs a musicianβs favorite lunchmeat?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 03 2019
Today I met an opera singer, he was one of the most self centred people I've ever met
It was like everything he said was just "Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi!"...
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︎ Jun 24 2019
Looking for a turtle pun :)
Can u guys help mi with this one :) need it for my presentation.
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︎ Feb 22 2018
Neil DeGrasse Tyson's dad joke
If the Chicago Bears moved to Detroit, then Detroit would have the Lions, the Tigers, and the Bears. Oh MI!
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︎ May 21 2019
What did the Cheese say when he saw himself in the Mirror?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 27 2019
My Mother-in-Law responded to an unsolicited fax with an amazing dad joke.
My MiL received this unsolicited fax at her office. My wife suggested she should fax something clever back. She delivered.
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︎ Jul 22 2015
The waiter gave me a ribeye that I didnβt order
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︎ Apr 09 2019
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart
Well wasnt that an unfortunate mis-stake
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︎ Mar 26 2019
I am not allowed anywhere near the Vietnamese restaurant in my town.
They decided to Banh Mi for life.
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︎ Jan 05 2019
Kids wanted to watch a new anime, so I suggested...
Kid 1: Let's watch -Japanese name of some anime-
Kid 2: No, let's watch -Japanese name of some other anime-
Me: Let's watch Supphomi!
Kid 2: "What the hell is Suppho... (realization dawns) mi..."
Me: NOT MUCH HOMIE, WHAT THE HELL 'SUP WITH YOU?!
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︎ Mar 22 2016
What's it called when a butcher messes up?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 30 2018
My dad thought he was cooking a pork loin
Turns out it was a great mis-steak
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︎ Oct 29 2018
I got confused for a vampire
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︎ Oct 14 2018
Got my girlfriend at a Mexican restaurant. She was still telling people about it later that night.
She asked if I minded her taking some cheese dip off of my plate.
I told her, "Of course not. Mi queso es su queso."
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︎ Jul 01 2015
I'd like to introduce my son
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︎ Mar 20 2018
What did the Italian man say when the waiter took his beef to the wrong table?
'Hey! That's a mi steak!'
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︎ May 25 2017
Son saw a Copperhead snake
Son: Dad I saw a Copperhead snake!
Wife shows son google images of sneks
Me (dad): Son, maybe you were mis-snaken.
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︎ May 26 2018
Trump is going out, not with a bang, but...
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I was causing a raucous at the Vietnamese restaurant.
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︎ Nov 05 2016
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