My 8yr old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"

She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.

👍︎ 14k
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📅︎ May 13 2020
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What do you call the sound of a piano falling down a mineshaft?

A flat miner

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/tmarsee530
📅︎ Nov 21 2019
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Those darn hillbillies!

I heard some banjo music off in the distance. Some time later, there's a knock at my door. Staring through the peephole, I see two toothless hillbillies. One has a shotgun, the other has a frozen pizza.

Frightened, I barricade myself inside the apartment. I tell them to go away, that I'm calling the police.

That's when one of the hillbillies spoke up and said, "Aw, come on! It's not Deliverance, it's DiGiorno!"

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👤︎ u/alc6379
📅︎ Nov 29 2015
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