I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation.

I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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My therapist told me to try meditation.

I told him I'd think about it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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You know what they say about the food at meditation centers?

It may not take up all your stomach but it will always keep your mind full

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bellicose_buddha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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After teaching a wolf meditation

It became aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MMARCADE
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you stop going to your meditation group?

You get Dis-ohmmmm'd

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elseebee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?

Fro-zen!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thanosisntwrong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I taught my pet wolf how to meditate...

Now he's aware wolf.

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyLoramAtWork
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a meditating potato?

Meditator

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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What do you call a wolf that meditates?

Aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maidenHELL6669
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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What does the electrician say when he meditates?

Oooohm

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/w0zzie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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What happens when you teach a wolf to meditate?

It becomes AWARE wolf

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Meditate on it
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OffDutyTaoist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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Why do people smoke weed and meditate?

They're trying to reach a higher self.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levivilla4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I would meditate ohmmmm...
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Master_doge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Did you guys hear about the guy who meditated in the middle of a storm?

He said it was a very β€œin lightening” experience.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cananbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Waldo should meditate more.

Maybe then he could find himself.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParzyPeevesy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My meditative friend just got hired as a stewardess for United Airlines...

She's now on a higher plane of existence!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a meditating bear?

Yogi

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What does a meditating ghost say?

Boo, duh

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanClaymore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the electrical engineer say while meditating?

Ohmmmm.... Ohmm....

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romulusnr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a killing before yoga practice?

A pre-meditated murder

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pittybrave
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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My wife insists I try meditating and I finally agreed.

It beats sitting around and doing nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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The Monk and The Cow

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconbuddy95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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How does a cosmologist meditate?

Observe a tree.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenPad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Dad Joke About Yoga

I was asking my girlfriend about her yoga classes, and she said she wasn't really into the spiritual side of yoga, and it weirds her out when some instructors end the class with a communal 'ohmmmm'.

Me: So you're saying there's some resistance to the ohm?

She laughed. She's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbast
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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I can picture the powers of the future, stronger than ever, and the resistance fighting desperately against them for freedom...

Before every battle, the resistors meditate saying, "ohm..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The judge had no problem sentencing the man who killed his wife on her way to yoga class, for 1st degree murder...

...stating it was pre-meditative.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/globalklaus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Need help with a pun!

I recently posted a picture of a peaceful looking, meditating waldo with a title that reads "Plot twist. Waldo finds himself". My uncle replied with the awesome pun: "Waldo is my "om" boy!"

I need a pun to compete! Thanks for any help.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibcurlyfry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
🚨︎ report
I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation.

I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently took up meditation

It's certainly better than sitting around doing nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation

I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently took up meditation.

It's better than sitting around and doing nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudman1969
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I taught my pet wolf how to meditate

Yeah. Now he's aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wolf that meditates during a full moon?

Aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the wolf meditate?

To become aware wolf!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate

Now he’s aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 412
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate.

Now he’s aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaseCeer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Never let a wolf meditate

It will become aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unbornZOMBIEfetus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wolf that meditates?

Aware Wolf

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a large dog that meditates?

Aware wolf!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peetlloyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware-wolf.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/za_snake_guy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate.

Now he’s Aware Wolf.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCR01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate

He’s now Aware Wolf

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinki7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate

Now he's aware wolf

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImagiantTrex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I taught a wolf to meditate.

Now he's Aware Wolf.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"

"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"

"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.

"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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