Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?

Because it'll be sadder day.

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👤︎ u/hypeaze
📅︎ Jul 28 2020
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I was so disappointed, I moped for a while.
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📅︎ Apr 13 2019
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After getting this present, he moped a lot.
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📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped
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👤︎ u/jayckb
📅︎ Jul 20 2018
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"Why are fat chicks like mopeds?"

"They're fun to ride but you don't want anyone to see you on them."

My dad is... interesting

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👤︎ u/nadnerb811
📅︎ Aug 09 2013
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"I can't stand being half motorcycle...

"I can't stand being half motorcycle, half bicycle", he moped.

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👤︎ u/eclipse666
📅︎ Feb 18 2020
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I woke up this morning and saw my neighbor slumped over his lawn mower, crying his eyes out.

He was growing through a rough patch.

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📅︎ Apr 18 2019
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My parents banned me from riding my Vespa in the yard.

So I just moped around the house all weekend...

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📅︎ May 27 2019
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What do you call a pedophile on a bike

A moped

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👤︎ u/biese28
📅︎ May 08 2018
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My dad's corny jokes

My dad has this habit of pretending he didn't hear what you said, and then "repeating" it. Like if I said I was going to see an art show, he'll say, "You're going to a FART show? I had no idea you'd have any interest in that!" Lots of jokes along those lines, amongst others.

When I was younger I would laugh because he was kinda funny, and also to make him happy, but as I've gotten older I laugh not JUST because he's funny (in a corny way) but because the fact he still makes these jokes makes me so happy and really warms my heart. My mom is physically disabled, my dad has a bunch of health issues, we've all suffered terribly at times because of all this illness. And no matter how bad it gets, my dad is always there trying his hardest to put a smile on other people's faces and to lighten the mood a bit with his jokes. I've always been the type of girl to mope and be depressed when things are hard, but as I've gotten older I've tried to be more like my old man because I think it's something really special and admirable and selfless about stepping outside of your own negativity to give others something to laugh at or smile about. My dad is such a fuckin hero, I love him so much, and I can't imagine how unbearable this world would seem at times without him trying to make us all laugh.

So to all you dads telling your corny dad jokes, don't ever stop. Your kids and wife might groan or roll their eyes, but inside they love their corny old man and appreciate the goofy puns and fart jokes you tell!

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👤︎ u/Osusanna
📅︎ Dec 19 2013
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