I have a love-hate relationship with my rival of the same sex

No homo-cide, though.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nico_Storch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...

... foreign

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DobriDobrev03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate charging batteries.

It’s revolting.

πŸ‘︎ 413
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolai_G
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a relationship between two Jedi?

A Forced relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Falling in love is dangerous.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediAditya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I HATE HOW FUNERALS ARE ALWAYS AT 9AM

I'm not really a mourning person πŸ˜”

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AboutKemosabe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My new girlfriend hates bees. It’s a real shame...

I thought she was a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sterntoothz
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives

I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why should you never be in a relationship with a tree?

You'll regret it in autumn when it leaves

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dj_ordje
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate McDonalds so much for this
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Free_Research1381
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.

He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There are two things I hate in this world...

Hypocrites and people who hate other people

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm in intimate relationships with several Spanish women.

I put the "amor" in "polyamory".

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2many_hobbies
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Hate insect puns, they always bug me...
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ISeeMemes27
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate it when islam

the car door on my finger

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pinchonthebum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t hate me...

I’d like to thank my legs for keeping me on my feet, and my arms for always being by my side!

I love you guys!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore

I would have a daughter

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captbeauner
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate it when people talk about climate change

It ruins the atmosphere

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Og_Souperman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Relationships between hockey πŸ’ players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.

No one is willing to break the ice.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fladavpam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I hated my job as a bowling alley union rep

They were always having strikes

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DapperDavidYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do musicians hate stealth missions?

Being quiet really isn't their forte.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bdicus1
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does the IRS hate Tusken Raiders?

They always single file, to hide their numbers.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to hate facial hair

But then it grew on me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate spring cleaning...

Darn things bounce all over the place.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormtrooper-85
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate sausages made in Germany.

They're just the Wurst...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate playing soccer with my constipated friend...

He never passes

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Conor McGregor hates Cinco de Mayo...

It's nothing personal, he just cant stand Mayweather.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RAMBOxBAGGINS
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I've heard that Dr Pepper hates society.

But actually he loves pop culture.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you hap-pun to love puns
πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnyb229
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Concrete
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juancpovesf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Don’t you just hate people that answer their own question?

I do

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Super_chicken314
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate going to M.C.Hammers house...

He won't let me touch anything.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Love me love me, say that chu love me
πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/That_Guy2847
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do police hate impatient pirates?

Because they refuse arrrrrest

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate vacuum cleaners.

They suck!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CuteAutumnBear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their moustache, and suddenly...

She isn’t your friend anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought some new sunglasses and it seems people either love them or hate them.

They're very polarizing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpep0469
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear that both loves and hates to travel?

A Bipolar Bear

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPooMD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Man I used to really hate facial hair

But I have to admit, it's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GRAY_WOLF_DONG
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I know a good one joke pizza but I hate to tell it

it’s way too cheesy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slcikdeaaal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
You know why Vegans can't hate people?

They don't like Beef.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notpvzfarmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Hate it or love it...

That's how you form an opinion.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DisplayTHEContent
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The urge to sing β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...

A whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoalaTeaNip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to hate facial hair

But then it grew on me

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/idkqwerty1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to hate facial hair...

But then it grew on me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafran
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife accused me of hating her family

I told her, "your mother-in-law is way better than mine!"

πŸ‘︎ 350
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report

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