I read it's romantic to scatter rose petals on your bed, but they were too expensive. Instead, my wife and I will just have to make love on..

No bed of roses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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She: (In romantic mood) I love your eyes

Me: They came free with the head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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Just another overly dramatic post.

https://i.redd.it/vrrnd0bt6ca41.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband the following text...

β€œIf you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!!!” The husband, being a non-romantic sort, replied... β€œI am on the toilet. Please advise.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I love Stranger Than Fiction, and here's one of the many reasons why.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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A man goes to see his father at his parents house

They both sit and start chatting

Son : how was your doctors appointment?

Dad: good!the doctor gave me different medication for my memory loss

Son : oh really ? What are the name of the pills?

Dad : ( struggling to remember ) oohh...uhhh.... something to do with flowers but I can’t remember

Son: tulips ?

Dad: no , they’re very popular and everyone loves them .

Son : daisies?

Dad : no! They are bright red and romantic

Son : rose ?

Dad: YES. He loudly yells ROSE, WHAT ARE THE PILLS CALLED THAT THE DOCTOR GAVE ME?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MNMKandyKane
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Animals puns for wedding tables...

We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.

Reddit, how can we improve these?

Moose - I find you amoosing.

Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.

Owl - Owl always love you.

Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.

Skunk - I stink you're sweet!

Bunny - Everybunny loves you!

Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?

Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.

Wolf - Wolf you marry me?

Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!

Turtle - You're turtley amazing.

Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.

Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.

Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!

Raven - Can't stop raven about you.

Turkey - I could just gobble you up!

Caribou - Where does one find a wedding ring for his deer? Why at the cariboutique, of course.

Deer - I love you deerly!

Goose - You give me goose bumps.

Sasquatch - Getting you to marry me was no small feat.

Also looking for some ideas for racoon, snake, and groundhogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TonyMcConkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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Lying in bed with my girl

All romantic, very lovely, stealing kisses here and there.

Her cell phone is just within arm's reach, so I pause the making out and gently place the phone on her forehead, and I whisper…

"Headphones."

And then she vibrate-laughed for like ten minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profound_whatever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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