Thought of this while I was teaching my little brother about the wonderful world of colors
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︎ Apr 26 2021
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Little know fact - Jesus was fully prepared to be crucified.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
My little brother just came up with this: Why was the fully loaded hot dog cold?
Because it was a chili dog.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Why does Jesus stay on the other side of the road?
Heβs afraid to get across
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︎ Apr 12 2021
My eldest wanted to know why I wouldn't lend him any of my tools, but I let his younger brother, the prodigal son, borrow whatever equipment he wants.
Simple, I said, the prodigal son returns...
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I just got a ps5 for my little brother.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Apparently, the producers of The Flintstones were planning to make one final episode where Fredβs brother marries Barneyβs brother.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans werenβt yet ready to have a gay old time.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
There's a lot of different ways to depict Jesus, but I always think of him up on the cross
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︎ Mar 08 2021
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
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︎ Dec 02 2020
My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.
He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"
I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?
'Ba dum tss'
He just sighs. "I hate you."
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Lots of people know about Harley Quinn but very few people have heard about her twin brother who was stillborn...
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What did the monk say who saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?
I can't believe it's not Buddha.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
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︎ Dec 29 2020
My brother was afraid of venturing into agriculture...
I told him to grow a pear.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Today at dinner, my little brother asked me who a skeletonβs favorite celebrity is. I asked who, then he proceeded to Skeletor laugh and say....
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︎ Aug 05 2020
This post might be a little ballsy. And if it gets a lot of attention, I might get cocky.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
My little girl accidentally broke one of her toy flowers. All I could say was...
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︎ May 06 2021
A Little Town In Mexico And Their Love Of Mayonnaise
There was a little town in Mexico, right across the border from Texas. They got a taste for Mayonnaise from the Cowboys crossing the border to eat. Soon they created a festival for their love of Mayonnaise. Theyβd have every type of mayonnaise you could think of. Folks loved it. The 10th anniversary of the festival was coming up and they decided they wanted to do something special. They heard of a place in England that made the worlds very best. They placed their order and was told it would be shipped overseas to them by boat. Because they had placed such a large order, the only ship capable of carrying it was the Titanic. The folks were waiting excitedly until the morning that the Titanic had hit a iceberg. When the news came that they wouldnβt get their shipment and to honor those lives lost, they decided to rename their festival. It became known as βSinko De Mayo.β
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︎ May 05 2021
What would it be called the Birth of Jesus if they were all cats?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop thatβs included.
Man Iβm glad thatβs out of the whey.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
My little brother fell off of a toy ambulance and started to cry then someone makes a pun
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︎ May 30 2019
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Jesusβ brother, James: Boss, my brother just died. I need the day off.
Boss: No problem.
(3 days later)
James: Boss, my brother is in town. I need the day off.
Boss: Wait a second...
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︎ Nov 10 2018
My brother and I both picked up bottles of mouthwash on the same grocery trip...
I guess you could say we really got our Acts together.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My brother just died of heartburn
I can't believe Gaviscon...
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︎ Feb 11 2021
I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...
no one believed
it was funny
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︎ Dec 08 2020
So I was talking to my little brother
He was annoyed because I unplugged this really loud fan, I told him to chill out and when he plugged it back in I ask are we cool now?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
What do you call the wife of an elephantβs motherβs brother?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Just a little bit of meat.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
What was the name of Einstein's little brother?
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︎ Aug 24 2017
I was trying to give away a bunch of those little bugs that make honey.
But nobody wanted my freebies.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
A little know story about Mozart is that in 1785 he killed all of his chickens.
When he asked who the best composer was, they kept replying βBach, Bach, Bachβ
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Know what the female equivalent of blood brothers are?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.
John left large shoes to Phil.
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︎ Mar 22 2020
And Jesus said "come forth and win the kingdom of heaven!"
But I came 5th and won a teapot.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
When the snow came, all my little brother did was look through the window
If it got any worse, I would have had to let him in
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︎ Jun 03 2020
Have you heard of Eminems shy little brother? He's called Ehm...inem.
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︎ Nov 14 2018
What did the Tibetan Monk say when he saw Jesus in a tub of margarine?
"I can't believe it's not Buddha."
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︎ Dec 26 2020
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