What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
What do you get when you mix a penis, potato & a boat?
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
I hate it when my washing gets Lindt all over it!!
Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
I just heard that Snap, Crackle & Pop, Tony the Tiger and Capn Crunch have all been killed.
Sounds like the work of a Cereal Killer.
Getting one dose of Pfizer & one dose of Moderna is called a
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
A poet & a thief walk into a bar...
... Bar tender says "Hi Dave".
A detective showed up at my house and asked me where I was between 5 & 6
looking for plant & clothing/accessories related puns
Art by Cyanide & Happiness
Saw an Adam & The Ants tribute act
I said “you’re not Adam Ant!”, he said “yeah i am.” we argued all night, but he really was adamant.
I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder
I got a little behind in my work
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again
Earth just told Mars to "get a life"
I need an adult, pls & thank u
Playing as a Monk in Dungeons & Dragons isn’t so hard.
You just have to roll with the punches and look out for number one.
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
How can you tell the difference between male & female ants
Put them in water. Girl ants sink. The rest are boy-ant
Eating Lindt Chocolate today at an Easter lunch with my family...
I decided to put it in my pocket.
Hey everyone! Check out my pocket Lindt!
Collective groans from entire family
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
Defeating Predators With Facts & Logic
I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed
It was a lovely service...
What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?
One’s a Coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis
My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.
He said he was in the desert with his camels.
After 12 years, I finally played World of Warcraft again & all I have to say is
My grandfather lived for 96 years & he never used glasses.
He directly drinks from the bottle.
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
A man & his wife were taking a winter stroll & admiring the trees that were glistening white with ice & snow. A stranger walked past them and said, “Beautiful hoar-frost!”
The man replied, “Why thank you kind sir, but my name’s not Frost.”
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
I said to the baker, "How come all your cakes are 50p & that one's £1?"
He said, "That's Madeira cake"
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens.
If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
I’m starting a chiropractic business specializing in homeopathic & aromatherapy approaches...
When more & more people say “you’re my rock”....
You start feeling like gravel.
Why did the sled dog puppy shop in the Big & Tall store?
BL3 with Tomato Jokes? | Falls, Fails & Funny Moments | Psycho Krieg & the Fantastic Fustercluck DLC
youtu.be/Je2l0OxQl8E
Just found out there's a Law & Order UK.
It's produced by Spotted Dick Wolf.
I made the most expensive Mac & Cheese ever.
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
What do you call a manic & depressive grizzly?
Why can’t melons run away & get married?
Because they cantaloupe...
What do you get when you mix a penis & a potato?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
