What do you call a woman who has paid off all of her liabilities?

Odette

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👤︎ u/EgonVector
📅︎ Feb 09 2021
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Dorothy overheard everyone saying how she can't sing "Carry on my Wayward Son" in tune and she's becoming a liability...

Looks like she's not in Kansas anymore

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👤︎ u/Chateau512
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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After messing up my tax return forms yet again, my accountant said to me: "you're such a liability....."

"... you should be on a balance sheet"...

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👤︎ u/wkm86
📅︎ Oct 13 2017
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

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📅︎ Aug 18 2020
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What do you call someone who has the ability to pull off a lie in every situation?

A Liability

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📅︎ Jun 01 2020
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It hurt me when my doctor said I couldn't drink milk anymore.

I guess you can say that I have a Lactose Liability now

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👤︎ u/Red1474
📅︎ May 22 2017
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My dad on his recalled tires...I hope to be him one day.

My dad's tires were recalled for losing tread and exploding. Due to my recent business law class I informed him that if he didn't take them in for a replacement, and they blew up, he would be liable. He said he knew the term for this type of liability:

....A pop-tort

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📅︎ Dec 15 2013
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