When a cougar gets so old, she needs a hearing aid...

....she becomes a Def leopard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I just read that a tiger was spotted downtown

I don't really believe it though, if it was spotted its probably a leopard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaxman_cometh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I was looking through a book about Big Cats with my son...

Pointing to one with spots I asked, "What's this one?"

"A leopard!" He replied.

"No, it's a cheetah actually. Ypu can tell because the black marks by its eyes make it look like it's crying. Do you know why it was crying?" I asked.

"..."

"Because cheetahs never win!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khclarkson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Me: A leopard can't chang its stripes

My son: Dad leopards have spots Me: well what do you know, they did it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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I spotted a jaguar today.

Now it looks like a leopard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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I was at the zoo with my boyfriend...

We were at the snow leopard enclosure and we couldn't see any. Boyfriend: 'They're hiding' Me: There's snow leopard here.

hehehe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coburg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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Discussing a possible lion that was seen in Wisconsin...

My dad said it was hard to confirm it was a lion because the reports were from a number of "random spottings."

My mom said it "Sounds more like a leopard."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WasabiofIP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
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Got my Dad with this one

I was in the room with my dad when he was watching the news, they mentioned that some event had been cancelled when a Tiger had been spotted in the area.

"They must be confused, if it was spotted it was probably a Leopard"

Cue dirty look

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain23222
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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Overheard a fellow patron at the zoo

what passing by the snow leopard exhibit he says:

"That's no leopard"

i point it out to my gf while snickering and i get the look

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhickey88
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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Food jokes as well as a pop-culture reference.

Dad: What do you want for supper?

Me: Do we still have the Greek food?

Dad: It's not Greek, Meaghan. It's Chicken Souvlakian.


Dad: Did you hear Black Diamond moved their headquarters to the Middle East?

Me: No...what?

Dad: Yeah, and they changed their name to Cheezus of Nazareth.


Me: Are you going for a run?

Dad: Yeah. You see...I'm sexy and I know it. I work out. Now all I need is those leopard print pants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NOTORIOUS_BLT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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